[UNDERSHELL _disguises his extreme uneasiness._ _Pilliner._ And the whole of a horsewhip. He invited my opinion of it as an implement of castigation. Kind of thing, you know, that would impart "proficiency in the _trois temps_, as danced in the most select circles," in a single lesson to a lame bear. _Und._ (_to himself_). I don't stir a step out of this house while I'm here, that's all! _Sir Rup._ Ha-ha! Athletic young chap that. Glad to see him in the field next Tuesday. By the way, ALBINIA, you've heard how THICKNESSE here contrived to miss his train this morning? Our gain, of course; but still we must manage to get you back to Aldershot to-night, my boy, or you'll get called over the coals by your Colonel when you _do_ put in an appearance, hey? Now, let's see; what train ought you to catch? [_He takes up "Bradshaw" from a writing-table._ _Lady Cant._ (_possessing herself of the volume_). Allow me, RUPERT, my eyes are better than yours. _I_ will look out his trains for him. (_After consulting various pages._) Just as I _thought!_ Quite impossible for him to reach North Camp to-night now. There isn't a train till six, and _that_ gets to town just too late for him to drive across to Waterloo and catch the last Aldershot train. So there's no more to be said. [_She puts "Bradshaw" away._ _Capt. Thick._ (_with undisguised relief_). Oh, well, dessay they won't kick up much of a row if I don't get back till to-morrow,--or the day _after_, if it comes to that. _Und._ (_to himself_). It _shan't_ come to that--if _I_ can prevent it! Lady MAISIE is quite in despair, I can see. (_Aloud._) Indeed? I was--a--not aware that discipline was quite so lax as that in the British Army. And surely officers should set an example of---- [_He finds that his intervention has produced a distinct sensation, and, taking up the discarded "Bradshaw," becomes engrossed in its study._ _Capt. Thick._ (_ignoring him completely_). It's like this, Lady CULVERIN. Somehow I--I muddled up the dates, don't you know. Mean to say, got it into my head to-day was the 20th, instead of only the 18th. (_Lamely._) That's how it _was_. _Lady Culv._ Delightful, my dear GERALD. Then we shall keep you here till Tuesday, of _course!_ _Und._ (_looking up from "Bradshaw," impulsively_). Lady CULVERIN, I see there's a very good train which leaves Shuntingbridge at 3.15 this afternoon, and gets---- [_The rest regard him with unaffected surprise and disapproval._ _Lady Cant._ (_raising her glasses_). Upon my word, Mr. BLAIR! If you will kindly leave Captain THICKNESSE to make his own arrangements----! _Lady Maisie_ (_interposing hastily_). But, Mamma, you must have misunderstood Mr. BLAIR! As if he would _dream_ of----. He was merely mentioning the train he wishes to go by himself. _Weren't_ you, Mr. BLAIR?