When the song said Jap AH SID was just nothing but a kid Of what ALCOCK dubbed "a race grotesque and savage," The Wise West had not a notion of the kick-up and commotion, The naval noise and military ravage, That same "little kid" would raise; of the pæans of loud praise The Wise Boy of the East would hear around him. A pupil of the West he was held, but, upon test, A teacher, in his way, the West has found him. Phenomenal young Jappy, Occidental Powers seem happy To gather round and watch the object lesson In the wicked Art of War, seeing proof you've carried far In matters which before we might but guess on. If a kid, he's not a fool! With his ferula and stool, His blackboard and his lump of chalk, he's showing How to work an ironclad! It's amazing that a lad With a lemon-face should be so wondrous knowing! He'll teach you to work as _he_ does in the matter of torpedoes, And how to blow a rival fleet to blazes. In naval matters practical, strategical and tactical, The nipper shows a _nous_ that almost dazes. Though his names and terms sound funny, it is more than even money, That he hides a lot of wisdom in his lingo. And what matter baggy breeches, and a speech all "his" and "ichis," If this "Boy" can give the Chinese Giant stingo? His phiz looks flat and pasty, and his head-gear's hardly tasty, And his eyes are like black-beetles set a-swivel. But though plain or currant-bunny, and the colour of fresh honey, He's as full as HADéSU of dash and "divil." See, those eyes are all a-twinkle! Like the sudu-mushi's tinkle Fall his accents very suave, but full of gumption; And you'll hardly now find any to retort, "Oh, teach your granny!" Or to twit the "little kid" with youth's presumption. For the stalwart Teuton listens, and the Great Bear's optic glistens, And the "Melican" "lays low and don't say nuffin'," Save to whisper to JOHN BULL, "He's no mug, by a jug-_full_, Who out of the Chinee has knocked the stuffin'! Infant phenomenon? Wal, I rayther guess he's gone And chalked it out a caution. He's a spry 'un!" And JOHN BULL, who'll have to strain to keep monarch of the main, Thinks the infant Jap a chap to keep _his_ eye on! * * * * * GENEROSITY UNDER DIFFICULTIES. (_The Question of the Day._) _Daisy._ I want to buy a Christmas present for JACK. Do you see anything you think he would like? _Violet._ Here's a morocco case with seven razors, one for each day of the week. _Daisy._ Lovely! But JACK'S got whiskers and a beard. _Violet._ So he has! Then why not this exquisite silver cigar-ash tray? _Daisy._ Yes, that would be _just_ the thing; only, unfortunately, JACK never smokes, and always walks out of the room if anybody else does. _Violet._ Oh! That's awkward. This drinking-horn--what do you think of _it?_ _Daisy_ (_gloomily_). I'm afraid JACK'S a Blue Ribbonite.