"At least," continued my client, "you have not heard of any?" "Well, no," I returned; "so far as my experience goes, I have not come across the custom." "That's quite enough for us, Sir. If you will swear that, we shall want nothing further." Rather to my disgust my visitor suddenly placed a _subpoena_ in my hand, and told me that the case would most likely be in the list on the following day. Annoyed at his brusqueness I told him I had been ready to accept him gratuitously as a client. I added that as I now found I was only in request as a witness I should require a guinea. "Oh, of course," said my visitor, producing the cash. "We looked you out, and your name is in the _Law List_; and I see, too, you have painted it on the door of Mr. BLOCK'S chambers." Disdaining to smile at what I considered to be rather a clumsy attempt at _plaisanterie_, I bowed, and rang the bell. "Perhaps we had better have your private address, Sir," continued my visitor. "It would be safer, for then we could wire to you when it came on, and you would be sure to get our telegram." "I am always here while the Courts are sitting." I returned, in a tone of _hauteur_; "so you must please wire to me here." "Just as you like, Sir." And a few minutes later my clerk saw my visitor safely off the premises. I admit that I was slightly annoyed at the term "wire." It is true that his firm's name had not appeared--at any rate, recently--in my fee-book, but that was no reason why he should suggest that I was constantly absent from my chambers. I really pitied Messrs. CLOGS, JUDAS AND FRIARS for having a clerk with so little tact, and such a small stock of experience. On the following morning, when I was standing at the door of the Carey Street Robing Room, considering whether I should assume my forensic costume, or enter the Court as a layman, I was accosted by the same individual, who told me "that we were third on the list." "So you will be wanted almost at once, Sir," said he. "Well, I shall be able to come," I replied, "as, strange to say, I have no business before their Lordships to-day." "Chiefly chamber practice, I suppose, Sir?" "Quite so," I returned, looking him steadily in the face. "I mean to-day." I will not tell a wearisome story of how I had to hang about the Court until the interval for luncheon, and longer. I will hurry to the point when I entered the witness-box. To my surprise and secret satisfaction there was quite a stir when my name was called out. The Silks in the front row smiled, and my colleagues the juniors tittered. Even his Lordship looked up with an expression of pleasant anticipation. I was duly sworn, and gave my name. "Now, Sir," said the Counsel for our side, "tell me. How long have you known anything about office messengers?"