I considered for a moment. As a Member of the Bar (although I had not been asked for my profession--no doubt that was sufficiently well known) I desired to set an example. I wished to show what a witness should be. I desired to appear as a model worthy of close and universal imitation. "I have seen office messengers in offices for many years--as long as I can remember." I spoke with absolute gravity. To my astonishment there was a titter which grew into a roar of laughter; even his Lordship found it difficult to control his cachinnation. "Yes," said the counsel, when he had partially recovered his gravity. "But, tell me, do you know any custom in connection with their dismissal?" Again I considered the matter for a few seconds, and made a second reply. "No; I am unaware of any special custom in connection with their dismissal." This time there was no titter. My answer was received at once with the wildest merriment. The Judge laughed as much as anyone, and the Usher had to wipe his head with his handkerchief, so greatly moved was he by his sense of the ridiculous. My Counsel sat down convulsed, and had to conceal his face behind his brief. "I really don't think," gasped out the judge, "that this witness need be cross-examined." And I was not. As I returned to my seat amidst the smiles of everyone in Court, a reporter asked me for my Christian name. Before I could reply, one of my colleagues in wig and gown gave him what he supposed was the necessary information. "But you are wrong," I whispered, and (with a view of crushing him) handed him my card. "You don't say so," returned my learned friend; "why, we thought you were PANTO,--the chap you know, who writes as 'YORICK' for the _Serio-Comic Jester_." And it had come to this! I had been taken, or rather mistaken, for a humorous contributor! And this after about a quarter of a century's service at the Bar! And yet there are those who say that the profession is _not_ going to the dogs! However, I must express my surprise at the conduct of the judge. It is not ten years since that I had the pleasure of holding a consent brief before him. And yet he had forgotten me! When the Bench is so forgetful, how can Silk and Stuff be expected to have better memories! _Pump-Handle Court_, (Signed) A. BRIEFLESS, JUNIOR. _September 1, 1894._ * * * * * "RHYMES." Whatever the subject that people discuss, Theology, law, architectural playthings-- St. Albans, for instance--there's ready for us A lover of knock-me-down language to say things. Lord GRIMTHORPE will instantly write to the _Times_. His last learned homilies treated of rhymes.