Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, April 13, 1895Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, April 13, 1895
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_First Itinerant Physician_ (_as he screws up fragments of candy in
pieces of newspaper_). That is Frog in your Froat what I'm doin' up
now. I arsk you to try it. It's given to me to give away, and I'm
goin' to _give_ it away--you understand?--that's all. And now I'm
goin' to tork to you about suthink else. You see this small bottle
what I 'old up. I tell you there's 'undreds layin' in bed at this
present moment as 'ud give a shillin' fur one of these--and I offer
it to you at one penny! It corrects all nerve-pains connected with
the 'ed, cures earache, toothache, neuralgy, noomonia, 'art-complaint,
fits, an' syhatica. Each bottle is charged with helectricity, forming
a complete galvanic-battery. Hall _you_ 'ave to do is to place the
bottle to one o' your nawstrils, first closing the other with your
finger. You will find it compels you to sniff. The moment you _tyke_
that sniff, you'll find the worter comin' into your heyes--and that's
the helectricity. You'll say, "_I_ always 'eard helectricity was a
_fluid_." (_With withering scorn._) Very _likely!_ You _'ave!_ An'
_why?_ Be-cawse o' the hignirant notions prevailin' about scientific
affairs! Hevery one o' these bottles contains a battery, and to heach
purchaser I myke 'im a present--a _present_, mind yer--of Frog in 'is
Froat!
_Susan Jane_ (_to_ LIZERANN, _before a stall where "Novelettes,
three a penny," are to be procured by the literary_). Shall we 'ave a
penn'orth, an' you go 'alves along o' me?
_Lizerann._ Not _me_. I ain't got no time to go improvin' o' _my_
mind, whatever _you_ 'ave!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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