The _tutti_ did go wrong, all the parts appeared at strife, They liked the Old Conductor, were in doubt about the New; And WH-TBR-D'S tootling piccolo, and WH-RT-N'S wry-neck'd fife, Went decidedly a little bit askew. But, in spite of blare and blether, they're now going well together, String and reed, Parchment, and wood, and brass; and it yet may come to pass That the New Conductor's _début_ will succeed. The Old Conductor's style was perfection, there's no doubt, Impossible to beat, and extremely hard to follow; But the new one seems to know pretty well what he's about. A Mercury _can_ play, though no Apollo. So let us cheer all round, as he makes his bow profound! Tap, tap, tap! Go the fiddle-bows, in proof that, while welcome shakes the roof, The orchestra agree to cheer and clap! Sir, that St. Stephen's Orchestra is mighty hard to lead: Needs mastery, and dignity, and coolness, and fine ear, Great was the _bâton_-wielder 'tis your fortune to succeed; But tackle your big task, Sir, without fear! _Punch_ trusts the name of GULLY on Fame's roll will not shine dully At the end! Now tune up string and bow, let the New Conductor know That he finds in each performer a fair friend! * * * * * PARTY POLITICS. _First Man_ (_conciliatory_). You're a Tory? _Second Man_ (_also conciliatory_). Well, no. I'm a Unionist. Yes, a Unionist. Certainly I don't approve of Home Rule---- _First Man._ Don't say that. I think well of Home Rule. _Second Man._ Oh, do you? Well, I agree with the Liberals in some ways. _First Man._ Come to that, in some ways I agree with the Tories. Now take Disestablishment. _Second Man._ Ah, that's just one point where I disagree with the Liberals. _First Man._ Well, you may be right. But I should be a Tory if they supported Home Rule. _Second Man._ And I should be a Liberal if they didn't want Disestablishment. _First Man._ Now, CHAMBERLAIN---- _Second Man._ Ah, yes. CHAMBERLAIN---- _First Man._ He opposes Home Rule. _Second Man._ He supports Disestablishment. [_Left mutually abusing_ Mr. CHAMBERLAIN * * * * * FASHIONABLE INTELLIGENCE.--"The LORD LIEUTENANT was present at Punchestown for the races. His Excellency and the house party from the Viceregal Lodge, which included TOBY, M.P., met with a hearty reception." Naturally. If TOBY, M.P. was not made welcome at _Punch's_ town, who should be? * * * * * CITY NOTES.--_The latest Crushing Report._--The Londonderry Mine. * * * * * [Illustration: THE NEW CONDUCTOR. "YOU HAVE BEEN ELECTED BY A MAJORITY OF THE HOUSE. YOU ARE THE REPRESENTATIVE OF THE WHOLE HOUSE." _Report of the Right Hon. Arthur Balfour's speech on the election of Mr. Gully as Speaker._] * * * * *