It's reel good fun to hear the Counsellors tork about the Copperation nowadays! such a difference to what it was about a year ago! Then it was all bragging and boasting, now it's all begging your pardon, and arsking your grace, and it shant occur again! I never thort to see such a change, and it's really werry emusing. The two places where they speshally seems not at all at their ease are the Court of Common Counsel and the Manshun House; and in both of these honnerd places the few as wenters in do look uncumferal indeed! and the reel natives don't show them no pitty! not a bit of it, but takes a quiet larf whenever they gits a good chance. I've herd as one of the Counsellors has been herd to say as there are no less than three on em in the House of Commons, each of em quite equal to the late Speaker, if not shuperior to him, and that it was only beggarly jealousy as prewented them giving them a fare chance! The same honorable Gent has been herd to say that the County Counsellors was much shuperior to the City Copperation, for it was only last Toosday as they agreed, without a word of remonsterance, to raise no less than two millions of money from next year's rates! I wunder if it's all trew! ROBERT. * * * * * THE NEWEST NUISANCE.--The woman with a past before her. * * * * * [Illustration: PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT. "COOT-NIGHT, MRS. PROWN. I HAF TO SANK YOU FOR DE MOST BLEASANT EFENING I HAF EFFER SCHBENT IN MY LIFE!" "OH, DON'T SAY THAT, HERR SCHMIDT!" "ACH! BOT I _DO_ SAY DAT! I _ALVAYS_ SAY DAT!"] * * * * * THE NEW CONDUCTOR. ["You have been elected by a majority of the House. You are the representative of the whole House."--_Report of the Right Hon. Arthur Balfour's speech on the election of Mr. Gully as Speaker._] _Mr. Punch to Mr. Speaker._ If the Second Fiddle's satisfied, you're all right with the First! The Harp may heed your _bâton_, and as for the Big Drum, When it booms out on the night with a loud sonorous burst, That makes the whole proscenium shake and hum; What matter if the clatter, and the bang and bump and batter, Keep but time? If they're docile to your nod, and obedient to your rod, The New Conductor's post will be prime! The Orchestra has doubtless been a little bit at odds, And what should bring forth harmony has fallen into row; But, good gracious! there were shines sometimes among the Olympian gods, And the noisy ones look milk and honey _now_. The brazen and the windy both outdid Wagnerian shindy, For a while; Now there's calm at wings and middle, and even the First Fiddle Veils his virtuous indignation with a smile: