* * * * * A COCK AND BULL STORY. AIR--"_Casabianca._" ["European navies were like fighting-cocks, armed to the teeth; a single spark might cause an explosion." _Dr. MacGregor on the Navy Estimates._] The fighting-cock stood on the deck, His eye was rolling red, His feathers whiffled round his neck, His crest was on his head. He wore his spur above his heel, His claws were underneath, He also had a mass of steel Plate-armour on his teeth. Meanwhile the House was haggling on In one of those debates When Little England jumps upon The Navy Estimates. There CLEOPHAS, of many wiles, Brought up his little lot, And Mr. BYLES, with wreathèd smiles, Was deadly on the spot. And LABBY said the bootless pay Of navies should be stamped on; "There is no boot!" as strikers say In LABBY'S own Northampton. "Then came a burst of thunder-sound" That shook the very street, And lo! MACGREGOR'S form was found To be upon its feet. He called the rates a great expense, He was a peaceful Scot, And said the talk about "defense" Was simply Tommy-rot. Far better for his country's good, So long allowed to bleed, If only half the money could Be spent across the Tweed. Then with a petrifying shout, Like some _clamantis vox_, He fetched a trumpet-note about The teeth of fighting-cocks. A simile of crew and crew All ripe for any ruction; (Refer to verses one and two, Or else the introduction). A spark might fall from out the sea, Completely unforeboded, And then the birds--where would they be? Why, they would be exploded. He looked around for some applause From front or side or rear; They never said a word, because They hadn't strength to cheer. With many an accidental jest The hearts of men were full, But O! the thing they liked the best Was bold MACGREGOR'S bull! * * * * * "SUR LE TAPIS" DE BRUXELLES. However clever as a dramatic author he, M. MAURICE MAETERLINCK of Brussels, may be, it is rather handicapping him to be dubbed by enthusiastic but injudicious admirers "The Belgian SHAKSPEARE," though, of course, "Belgian" does qualify the SHAKSPEARE, just as Brussels prefixed to sprout decides the character of that favourite and useful vegetable. M. MAETERLINCK may be the "coming on," or sprouting, dramatist of the future. Up to the present time there has not been much in any way to connect Belgian and English drama, so MAETERLINCK may be the missing link destined to electrically illuminate "all the world," which "is," as the Divine WILLIAMS remarks, "a stage." * * * * * [Illustration: PREHISTORIC PEEPS. THE PROCEDURE IN THE LAW COURTS HAD MANY POINTS OF RESEMBLANCE TO OUR OWN BUT AT TIMES IT WAS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO GIVE UNDIVIDED ATTENTION TO THE EVIDENCE!]