_A Stodgy Sightseer_ (_to his friend_). Disgraceful, keeping us standing about like this! If I'd only known, I'd have told the headwaiter at the "Mitre" to keep back those chops till---- [_He breaks off abruptly, finding that the chops are reverberating from column to column with disproportionate solemnity; a white-haired and apple-faced verger rustles down from the choir and beckons the party forward benignantly, whereupon they advance with a secret satisfaction at the prospect of "getting the cathedral 'done' and having the rest of the day to themselves;" they are conducted to a desk and requested, as a preliminary, to put sixpence apiece in the Restoration Fund box and inscribe their names in a book._ _Confused Murmurs._ Would you put "Portico Lodge, Camden Road, or only London?"... Here, I'd better sign for the lot of you, eh?... They _might_ provide a better pen--in a _cathedral_, I _do_ think!... He might have given all our names in full instead of just "And party"!... Oh, I've been and made a blot--will it _matter_, should you think?... I never _can_ write my name with people looking on, can _you?_... I'm sure you've done it beautifully, dear!... Just hold my umbrella while I take off my glove, MARIA.... Oh, why _don't_ they make haste? &c., &c. [_The_ Stodgy Sightseer _fumes, feeling that, while they are fiddling, his chops are burning_. [Illustration: "What did 'e want to go and git the fair 'ump about?"] _The Verger._ Now, ladies and gentlemen, if you will please to follow me, the portion of the building where we now are is part of the original hedifice founded by EALFRYTHA, wife of Earl BALDRIC, in the year height 'undred heighty-height, though we 'ave reason to believe that an even hearlier church was in existence 'ere so far back as the Roman occupation, as is proved by a hancient stone receptacle recently discovered under the crypt and hevidently used for baptismal purposes. _A Spectacled S._ (_who feels it due to herself to put an intelligent question at intervals_). What _was_ the method of baptism among the Early Christians? _The Verger._ We believe it to 'ave been by total immersion, Ma'am. _The Spect. S._ Oh? _Baptists!_ [_She sets down the Early Christians as Dissenters, and takes no further interest in them._