Then there was a chorus crying, "This is the work of the Black and White Knight, the greatest of all the Knights--good Sir JOHN." And ALICE agreed in an opinion held by all the world. * * * * * ANOTHER TESTIMONIAL TO THE G. O. M.--In recognition of his most recent contribution to sacred literature. Mr. G. is to be presented with the freedom of the Dry-Psalter's company. * * * * * [Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE EXPRESSED DIFFERENTLY. _She._ "I'M SURPRISED TO SEE YOUR WIFE IN SUCH A _VERY_ LOW GOWN THIS COLD EVENING, BARON! I HEARD SHE WAS DELICATE." _He._ "ACH, NO! SHE VOS. BUT NOW, SANK HEAFEN, SHE IS KVITE _IN_DELICATE AGAIN!"] * * * * * "QUOUSQUE TANDEM?" OR, ONE AT A TIME. _Duologue in a Dog-cart._ _Driver._ Tc-c-c-h-k! Tc-c-c-h-k!! _Officious Friend._ Steady there! Wo-o-o-a!! _Driver_ (_aside_). Confound the fellow! I wish he wouldn't fidget so. _Officious Friend_ (_aside_). _He_ drive tandem? Wish he'd hand the ribbons to _me!_ _Driver_ (_aloud_). Leader steps along, doesn't he? _Officious Friend_ (_aloud_). Ya-a-s. Bit _too_ fast, I fancy. Forgets that the wheeler has to do the work. _Driver._ Humph! Not so sure of that, in this case. Rather weedy, you know, and just a bit of a slug, if you ask me. _I_ think they'd do better reversed--this journey, anyhow. _Officious Friend_ (_testily_). Nonsense! You never _have_ done that wheeler justice. Fact is you don't understand the horse's character, or how to get the best out of him. Now I---- _Driver_ (_adapting old Trin. Coll., Cam., Recitation_). "Fact is, he understood computing The odds at any bye-election; Was a dead hand at elocuting, Satire, and candidate-selection; But, like his parallel, Lord RANDOM, He couldn't, somehow, drive a tandem." _Officious Friend._ What _are_ you muttering about? You know I'm not up in poetry. As to poor Lord RANDOM, he was a smart whip, anyhow, and though I don't agree with "Z" in his impertinent comparisons, still---- _Driver._ Still? Well, I wish you'd _sit_ still, old fellow, and not fidget with the reins. You're fretting that leader awfully. _Officious Friend._ Confound the leader! Leaders, equine or--otherwise--(_sotto voce_: I was _going_ to say asinine!)--are so apt to give themselves airs, and fancy they're pulling all the weight. Old G., for example! _Driver._ Ah! and he's not the _only_ instance. [_Sighs._ _Officious Friend._ If G. had taken my tip, he'd never have upset the coach as he did. But handlers of the ribbons are always so obstinate. Look out! Mind that finger-post! Why, the leader nearly ran into it. _Driver._ Not at all, dear boy. But we'll run into _something_, and be both spilt if you don't leave off twitching at the reins. _Officious Friend_ (_reading finger-post_). Leamington! Hythe! Aha! Now I think--as I know these roads well--if you'd just let _me_----