Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, January 26, 1895Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, January 26, 1895
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
"The same," he answered calmly; "no mortal foot, save those of his
priests, has ever yet approached him. The perils are manifold, the
attempt is well nigh desperate, but you're not the game chicken I take
you for if you don't accomplish his capture and discomfit the haughty
Ranee. Crikey, but I'd like to hear the old gal squeal when they tell
her her bloomin' hippo's got took. Blime if I wouldn't."
"But how shall I set about it, what steps ought I to take?"
"Is it steps you mane? What in thunder is the man wanting? Here, boy,
take these papers. I have set down in them clearly how the matter
may best be undertaken. Peruse them and learn them well. If you have
resource, courage and prudence, within a week the prize shall be
yours, and the insult offered to me shall be expiated."
With that he pressed a bundle of papers into my hand, and bade me
leave him.
As I left the tent I heard a scuffling of feet. I darted in the
direction in which I thought they had gone, and there sure enough,
running as if he wanted to break a hundred yards record, I perceived
the Ranee's Chamberlain. I set off after him, nothing loth to give an
example of my speed. Besides, if the old fellow had overheard us our
doom was sealed; it was necessary to capture and silence him. In ten
strides I was close up to him. In another moment I was near enough to
seize him. I stretched out my hand to do so, when suddenly he gave
two short yells, turned round in a swift pirouette, and, before I had
realised what had happened, landed me a tremendous kick full on the
chest. The force of the blow was terrible, and only my iron bones
could have withstood it. Seeing that I still advanced he made at me
again. This time, however, I was too quick for him. I seized him by
his uplifted ankle, and, regardless of his appeal for mercy, whirled
him three times round my head and flung him from me. His shoe remained
in my hand, but beyond that no trace of the miserable Chamberlain
has ever been discovered. He simply vanished from human knowledge as
completely as though his body had been resolved into its elements. It
is true that Professor SPOOKS of the University of Caffraria declared
that a new meteor had on that very day appeared in South Africa
travelling eastwards. His discovery was scoffed at by the scientific,
but for my own part I have sometimes thought that, with a telescope
of sufficient power, the learned Professor might have been able
to establish an identity between his supposed comet and the lost
Chamberlain of the Ranee.
Having thus dispatched my foe, I returned to my own quarters to study
the papers of the MEEBHOY.
As I entered my room a terrible sight met my eyes.
(_To be continued._)
* * * * *
The Great Trott-ing Match.
[ALBERT TROTT, in the latest representative cricket match
between Mr. STODDART'S Eleven and All Australia, scored two
"not out" innings of 38 and 72, and took eight wickets for 43
runs.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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