"ALL NODDIN'."--The _Western Daily Mercury_ records that the New Woman has broken out in a new place--as A Lady Auctioneer. Woman at all times has known how to go it hammer and tongs. Advanced Femininity drops the tongs, but sticks to the hammer. Formerly man was often gone on fair woman--rather expected of him. The lady now prefers to do the "Going, going, gone," herself. Awful vistas opened up. Will a wink be as good as a nod to the Lady Auctioneer? Will "dinner eyes" have to yield to "auction winks"? A for-bidding prospect. * * * * * [Illustration: A DOUBTFUL "STAYER." L-BBY. "YOU AIN'T GOT MUCH OF A MOUNT, GUV'NOR!" R-S-B-RY. "P'R'APS NOT,--BUT I'LL RIDE HIM FOR ALL HE'S WORTH!"] * * * * * THE SCARLET PARASOL. SCENE II.--_Drawing-room. Windows opening on to Terrace. Ladies alone._ _Muriel_ (_to_ VIOLA). CLAUDE MIGNON has been saying that I am the only woman he has ever loved! _Viola._ Exactly what he says to me! _Muriel._ Is it a boast--or a confession? _Viola_ (_quietly_). It is a lie, that's all. But what did ALAN ROY say? He didn't speak to me. _Muriel._ He says you have a far-away look in your eyes. _Viola_ (_eagerly_). Yes? I did my best! _Muriel_ (_simply_). So I told him you wanted to have a secret in your life--a romance. He seemed very much interested. _Viola._ Oh, MURIEL! How could you? _How_ silly of you! I am very angry indeed. _Muriel_ (_calmly_). Why, VIOLA? ALBERT is getting accustomed to his being grown-up, and CLAUDE to his being so young. They all like him immensely. But I think they will be glad when he goes away. [_Enter gentlemen._ _Claude_ (_talking to_ ALAN). Yes, I felt I had something to say--and I said it--in one volume. _Alan._ There is no mistake so fatal as to write because one has something to say. _Claude._ How about _Robinson Crusoe_, _Don Quixote_---- _Alan._ I am afraid I never read them. I couldn't read till I was ten--and then I read dear HERBERT SPENCER. [_He tries to join_ VIOLA _and passes_ Mrs. AVERIDGE, _who moves to leave room for him on the sofa, and smiles_. _Alan_ (_standing by the sofa_). Weren't the flowers quite sweet on the table to-night, Mrs. AVERIDGE? _Mrs. Averidge_ (_trying to be original_). I can't bear flowers. _Alan._ What _do_ you like, Mrs. AVERIDGE? _Mrs. Averidge_ (_looking out of the window_). Oh--trees, I think. _Alan._ What! on the table! (_He escapes, and joins_ VIOLA.) Is that the moon outside, Mrs. TRAVERS? _Viola_ (_gazing at it intensely_). I think it is. _Alan._ Shall we go and see? [_They move out on to the terrace._ _Muriel_ (_sitting next to_ Mrs. AVERIDGE). Isn't ALAN ROY a little dear? _Mrs. Averidge_ (_spitefully_). So your sister seems to think. I had no idea she was so fond of children.