Here the Art of Artillery Driving can be seen to perfection: three times round, clear posts and out again to deafening cheers. Bayonet exercise of Second Battalion Scots Guards is full of point; while the display made by Gymnastic Staff of Egyptian Army shows how our soldiers can advance by leaps and bounds. Excellent device! Enemy dumbfounded and bothered to see our athletic warriors jumping over one another's heads, turning somersaults, and finally heaping themselves up into pyramids--a real Egyptian puzzle this--with hero at apex waving flag. Why, a whole army of fiercest enemies would take to their heels rather than fight with these dancing dragoons, and hosts of Mussulmans would flee before such men of muscle. For these tactics no arms required except those already naturally belonging to the corps. So inexpensive! Yet to these merry infants-in-arms the art of war is no child's-play. The new effects, and one among the numerous attractions, is the Grand Historical Military Pageant, performed with the greatest success by the 3rd King's Own Hussars and the Buffs. Nothing buffo about the Buffs. They appear as Cavalier cavalry and infantry pikemen of JAMES THE SECOND'S time, and as cavalry and infantry from that date down through the Georgian period to the present day. The great change is noticeable in the hair, from long flowing curls and periwigs to the short crop of THOMAS ATKINS. Altogether a brilliant success, and should bring in a handsome amount for the benefit of the Military Charities, to whose funds this show makes an invaluable contribution. [Illustration] * * * * * "HONOURS EASY."--The _St. James's Gazette_ suggests that if leading play-actors are to be knighted, why not principal music-hall singers? Well, not yet; as the chief music-hall singer is already "A CHEVALIER." * * * * * [Illustration: _Youngster_ (_who has just had a Penny given to him_) "'OW MUCH IS THEM GRAPES, MISTER?" _Shopkeeper_ (_amused_). "THEY ARE FOUR SHILLINGS AND SIXPENCE A POUND, MY LAD." _Youngster._ "WELL, THEN, GIVE US A 'A'PORTH O' _CARROTS_. I'M A _DEMON_ FOR _FRUIT!_"] * * * * * A DERBY DIALOGUE. SCENE--_In Town._ JONES _meets_ BROWN. _Jones._ Going to Epsom? _Brown._ No, I think not. Fact is, the place gets duller year by year. The train has knocked the fun out of the road. _Jones._ Such a waste of time. Why go in a crowd to see some horses race, when you can read all about it in evening papers? _Brown._ Just so. No fun. No excitement. And the Downs are wretched if it rains or snows. _Jones._ Certainly. The luncheon, too, is all very well; but, after all, it spoils one's dinner. _Brown._ Distinctly. And champagne at two o'clock is premature. _Jones._ And lobster-salad undoubtedly indigestible. So it's much better not to go to the Derby--in spite of the luncheon. _Brown._ Yes,--in spite of the luncheon.