Of novelties--and novel ties--in chase, Advances the New Woman, destined winner Of true first-fiddledom and pride of place! Already she's "advanced" to a club dinner At the New Vagabonds! How Eleusinian It sounds, how almost desperately daring! Clubdom was once Man's absolute dominion, Which now New Womanhood with him seems sharing. "_She made no speeches_," though;--though FRANKFORT MOORE Cracked jokes, and HOPE told tales! With mild regret One hears that, 'midst the after-dinner "roar" Her share was--proxies and a cigarette! _Can_ it be her revolt against Man's yoke Shall end, as here, in silence and in smoke! * * * * * DAMP ITALIAN DRAMA.--The Evening _Dews, eh?_ * * * * * NAVAL ARCHITECTURE. [A paper on "The Amplitude of Rolling on a Non-synchronous Wave" was read before the Congress of Naval Architects in Paris.] Last week, the papers tell us, the talented and zealous Designers who construct our ships their best attention gave To M. BERTIN'S writing on what sounds to us exciting-- The amplitude of rolling when non-synchronous the wave. How often, crossing over those distressing Straits of Dover, Where flighty folks grow flabby and where giddy ones grow grave, We have meditated sadly that we don't encounter gladly The amplitude of rolling when non-synchronous the wave. The amplitude--we'd bear it, and would probably not care, it Seems but to be an adjunct which perhaps we might not crave. For that execrable rolling we require much more consoling, That amplitude of rolling when non-synchronous the wave. Yet the rolling might be ended if the waves could be amended To synchronously swell, all want of symmetry to save, But we can't be CANUTES, can we? He could no more stop it than we-- That amplitude of rolling when non-synchronous the wave. So Lord DUFFERIN entreated all the experts, round him seated, To build a ship where passengers could comfortably shave, Even where a billiard-table would be absolutely stable, No amplitude of rolling, though non-synchronous the wave. Naval Architects, then, hasten to diminish woes which chasten The happiness of hundreds, be they timorous or brave; Make a ship, like dry land seeming, where we should not think of dreaming Of amplitude of rolling, though non-synchronous the wave. * * * * * WHITEWASHING THE STATUE OF CROMWELL. "CROMWELL," wrote the _Daily News_ on ARTHUR BALFOUR'S speech, "was the only man of his time who understood the principles of religious freedom." Ahem!