Oh, ALPHONSE! Gallantry befits your race! DAUDET! DAUDET! Can you look hereafter in an Englishwoman's face, DAUDET? DAUDET-say? You must have snoozed all night, You must have blinked all day; Have been blind--_pro tempore_--to Beauty's light, DAUDET! DAUDET-say! Is every Englishwoman then a Grundy or a Gamp, DAUDET? DAUDET? Did you play Diogenes--without his lamp-- DAUDET? DAUDET-say? Have you joined the pessimist churls Who of nothing good can say, That you slight our women and insult our girls, DAUDET? DAUDET-say? Oh, Dan seems empty and Beersheba bare, DAUDET! DAUDET! And there's nothing tasteful, and there's no one fair, DAUDET! DAUDET-say! To the saffron skin of France English rose-tints must give way? At our British Beauties _did_ you get a glance, DAUDET? DAUDET-say? You laud male Britons, whilst you pour dispraise-- DAUDET! DAUDET!-- On our girls and matrons! 'Tis a travellers' craze, DAUDET! DAUDET-say! The Frank abroad--is frank,-- From the _belles_ of France away, He is doubtless home-sick, but he need not turn "crank." DAUDET! DAUDET-say! The less said the better? Well, _that's_ true, no doubt, DAUDET! DAUDET! But the little that you _have_ said is all sneer and flout, DAUDET! DAUDET-say! The maids of France are fair!-- Are the men _fair_ too? Ah! nay. Not if _you_'re a specimen, my debonair DAUDET! DAUDET-say! Neither taste nor beauty? Oh! you _must_ have been bad, DAUDET! DAUDET! The _mal de mer_ all the time you must have had, DAUDET! DAUDET-say! The jaundice worked its will Upon you all the way! Try again--after swallowing a big blue pill-- DAUDET! DAUDET-say! * * * * * Sands and Sea. (_By a Harrow Boy who was "ploughed" at Exam._)