CITY INTELLIGENCE.--In view of the French President's accepting an invitation from the LORD MAYOR, the Common Councillors are daily practising a bacchanalian chorus, in harmony, of which the words are:-- "_Faure!_ he's a jolly good fellow, And so say all of us!" * * * LYCEUM ADVERTISEMENT.--"_King Arthur_"--Sir HENRY IRVING. Knightly performance. * * * MOTTO FOR EARL'S COURT EXHIBITION.--Open for "Wheel or Woe!" * * * COMBINED DISPLAY OF ALL ARMS.--A _soirée dansante_ during the season. * * * * * [Illustration: "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK HE CARES FOR YOU?" "WHY, MAMMA TALKED TO HIM FOR MORE THAN AN HOUR LAST EVENING, AND HE REALLY SEEMED TO ENJOY IT!"] * * * * * "WATERS, WATERS EVERYWHERE!" One of the reasons for the popularity of Apollinaris Water mentioned the other day at a "meeting of the waters" was, that men generally soon became on such intimate terms with this water-nymph as to be able to speak of her familiarly as "Polly." "Whisky and Polly" seemed to go so well together as to be suggestive of a round dance, in which the admirer of "Polly" was whisky-ing her round the ball-room. The gradual rise of Johannis in public opinion, delayed, of course, in the first place, by politeness on the part of "Johnnie," who must cede the _pas_ to "Polly," is due to the fact that the aërated-water drinkers had not made up their minds as to whether Johannis was to be addressed as "Jo" or "Johnnie." We believe that "Johnnie" is now the accepted appellation. Whether "Johnnie" and "Polly" are on the best terms, this deponent knoweth not; nor is he aware that during the season The Bishop of Bath and Wells or The Bishop of Sodor-water-and-Man will bless the union of "Johnnie" and "Polly," though at one time there was a report to that effect. To alter the title of the old semi-nautical drama, _Poll and Partner Joe_, of which the second hero was a Water-man, "Poll and her Partner Johnnie" ought to get on well together. * * * * * AFTER WHITSUNTIDE. _Brown._ You're looking extremely well. _Jones._ Never fitter! _Brown._ Took a run to Paris, eh? _Jones._ No. Saw French play, though. _Brown._ Went to seaside or river, eh? _Jones._ No. Can't stand expensive discomfort. I had some decent boating, though. _Brown._ Went for inland scenery? _Jones._ No; although I sauntered under noble trees, and got some magnificent views. _Brown._ Switzerland? Italy? _Jones._ No time for long journeys. I enjoyed fine air, and walked twenty miles a day; studied fine Old Masters, and enjoyed a stroll in a museum which has no equal. _Brown._ Really!! Then, in the name of wonder, _where_ have you been staying? _Jones._ In London. [_Farewells exchanged, and exeunt._