* * * * * A KNIGHT OF THE WILLOW; _Or, why not "Sir W. G. Grace"?_ ["Dr. W. G. GRACE, whose name has been everywhere of late--except where it might well have been, on the Birthday Honours list."--_Times._] Why not? Great Scott! "The play's the thing," Before the footlights, round the ring At Lord's, it little matters,-- Easily first _is_ easily first! Just fancy what a glorious burst From throats aglow with zeal--and thirst-- Would hail the Knight of Batters! They've shouted for him many a time, Whose mellow age is still his prime, And others' youth surpasses; But how they'd make the welkin split If honours donors had the wit To knight this Hero of the Hit, And favourite of the masses! "The play's the thing." Sir HENRY IRVING Sounds well. Who'll question _his_ deserving When 'midst the knights they place it? But here's a player just as great In his own field. Why should he wait? However high be knighthood's state, The name of GRACE will grace it! What greater joy to crowds affords Than the announcement "GRACE at Lord's"? What lots of "Lords" and "Graces" Do less than England's W. G. To furnish genuine sport and glee To thousands, who still throng to see How well he "times" and "places." True, "Thunderer," true! He stands the test. Unmatched, unchallengeable Best At our best game! Requite him! For thirty years to hold first place, And still, unpassed, keep up the pace, Pleases a stout, sport-loving race. By Jove, "Sir WILLIAM GILBERT GRACE" Sounds splendid. _Punch_ says--"_Knight him!_" * * * * * "IN THE NAME OF PROFIT--TOGS!" It seems that the uniform of the SHAHZADA, worn by his Highness on State occasions in England, was designed by a Briton, and consequently is not included in the official garb of the Afghan Army. Presumably the same sartorial artist was responsible for NASRULLA'S "get up" at the Derby. The son of our ally appeared on that memorable occasion in "a harmony in grey"--grey frock-coat, waistcoat and trousers, with grey fez turban to match. No doubt the head-dress was relieved with a diamond worth £1,000,000, or something of the sort, just to show that our guest was of eastern origin. The following suggestion for complete outfits may be found useful:-- _Yachting._--Suit of blue serge, covered with rubies and diamonds. Straw hat, made of golden wire, encrusted with emeralds. Tan shoes, studded with brilliants. Shirt of silver tissue, with collar and cuffs of virgin gold. Telescope of turquoise, with sling of linked Queen Anne's guineas.