Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, May 18th, 1895Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, May 18th, 1895
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_Thursday._--TANNER'S curiosity inconveniently uncontrollable. At
end of sitting given up to Scotland no one thinking about
COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF or TANNER either. Successive divisions had carried
sitting far beyond midnight, that blessed hour at which, in ordinary
circumstances, debate stands adjourned. Quarter of an hour occupied in
dividing on question whether they should divide on amendment. Proposal
affirmed; another quarter of an hour spent in fresh division. Nothing
possible further to be done, Members streamed forth, scrambling for
cabs in Palace Yard. CONYBEARE in charge of a Bill dealing with false
alarms of fire, managed to get it through Committee unopposed. Members
little recked how near they were to real alarm of worse than fire.
Twenty minutes earlier, when last division taken, over 330 Members
filled House. Now the tide ebbed; only the thirty odd Members in their
places jealously watching SPEAKER running through Orders of the
Day. TANNER bobbing up and down on bench like parched pea. Heard
it somewhere whispered that Duke of CAMBRIDGE, worn out with long
campaign, about to unhelm, unbuckle his sword, hang up his dinted
armour. TANNER feels he can't go to bed leaving unsettled the problem
of truth or phantasy. Not a moment to be lost. SPEAKER risen to put
question "That this House do now adjourn." Then TANNER blurts out the
inquiry, "Is it true?" "Order! order!" says the SPEAKER. Well, if they
didn't like the question in the form he had first put it, he would try
again.
"I would ask," he said, adopting conditional mood as least likely to
hurt anyone's feelings, "whether a member of the Royal Family who has
really" (most desirous of not putting it too strongly, but really you
know) "been drawing public money too long is going to retire?"
"Order! order!" roared the few Members present.
"I would ask that question," repeated TANNER, still in the conditional
mood, but nodding confidentially all round.
The Blameless BARTLEY happily at post of duty. Broke in with protest.
SPEAKER ruled question out of order. But the good TANNER came back
like a bad sixpence.
"Is his Royal Highness going to retire?" he insisted, getting redder
than ever in the face. "Order! order!" shouted Members in chorus. Thus
encouraged, TANNER sang out the solo again, "Is his Royal Highness
going to retire?"
That was his question. The SPEAKER, distinctly differing, affirmed
"The question is that the House do now adjourn;" which it did
straightway, leaving Dr. TANNER to go to a sleepless bed haunted by an
unanswered question.
"What I should like," said Lieut.-General Sir FREDERICK WELLINGTON
FITZ WYGRAM, who served in the Crimea with H.R.H., has been in command
of the Cavalry Brigade at Aldershot, and in other positions come in
personal contact with the COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF, "What I should like," he
repeated reflectively, stroking his chin, "would be the opportunity,
enjoyed from a safe distance, of hearing the Dook personally reply to
TANNER'S interrogation."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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