_Rt. Hon. Gent._ Of course I do. A most important person. Send a messenger for him at once. (_Exit_ Private Secretary.) That's the worst of TENTERFORE--so impulsive! Means well, but so very impulsive! (_Knock._) Ah, here comes my visitor. (_Enter stranger._) My very dear Sir, I am delighted to see you. (_He shakes hands warmly and provides him with an arm-chair._) I am sorry you should have been detained--quite a mistake. _Stranger_ (_surprised_). You are most kind. I come about some advertisements. _Rt. Hon. Gent._ I know, my dear Sir, I know. Now what can I tempt you with? You arrive at a most fortunate moment. We are thinking of letting the sides of our cruisers for posters. The Mediterranean fleet will be a most excellent medium. We can do sixteen double crowns at a very reasonable rate; of course the Admiral's flag-ship would be a trifle extra. Is your leading article soap, pickles, or hair-dye? _Stranger._ I am afraid you do not understand me. _Rt. Hon. Gent._ Oh yes, I do; but, if you object to marine advertisements, I think we can suit you on land. We have several commanding positions on the colours of some of the most popular regiments in the service vacant. (_Showing plans._) You see we can insert type--we object to blocks--on the material without interfering with the badges or the victories. A most admirable medium, I assure you. _Stranger._ You really are in error. I wish to say---- _Rt. Hon. Gent._ (_interrupting_). Yes, I know. You think that something would be better. Well, we can put advertisements on the backs of all petitions presented to Parliament, and let you out hoardings in front of the more prominent of the Government offices. How would that suit you? _Stranger._ Really, you must allow me to explain. Advertisements of matters interesting to mariners--such as notices of wrecks--are inserted solely in the _London Gazette_ and---- _Rt. Hon. Gent._ Ah, you are thinking of the sky signs. Well, of course, we might utilise the lighthouses, but we have not quite made up our minds whether such a course might not cause confusion in misty weather. _Stranger._ I was going to propose that the Government might feel inclined to insert the advertisements to which I have referred in a paper with which I am connected, and which is extensively circulated amongst seafaring men. _Rt. Hon. Gent._ (_astounded_). You want _me_ to give _you_ an advertisement! No, Sir; now that we have taken up advertisements we insert them and don't give them out. (_Enter_ Private Secretary.) Mr. TENTERFORE, be so good as to explain to this gentleman that my time is valuable. [_Scene closes in upon the_ Secretary of State _performing the now rather miscellaneous duties appertaining to his office._ * * * * *