GROSS INGRATITUDE TOWARDS TWO OLD PUBLIC FAVOURITES.--At Portsmouth municipal elections Messrs. COX and BOX were at the bottom of the poll in their respective wards. * * * * * THE IMPERIAL FEDERALIST'S VADE MECUM. _Question._ Is not the idea of the Federation of the British Empire merely a dream? _Answer._ Scarcely, since the matter has attracted the attention of Mr. CHAMBERLAIN, who is hardly a visionary. _Q._ Has public opinion anent the question seen any change of late? _A._ Distinctly. The idea is at this moment popular. Ten years ago, what may now be called a dream was regarded as a nightmare. _Q._ What is the chief difficulty in the way of Imperial Federation? _A._ The varieties of race. A Canadian is scarcely an Australian, and there is little in common between a Hindoo and a native of the Cape. _Q._ But cannot much be done in the direction of merging the cosmopolitan elements of the British Empire into one huge family by establishing under the shadow of the Union Jack the penny post? _A._ Such is the opinion of Mr. HENNIKER-HEATON, M.P. _Q._ And could not free trade for the colonies, as distinguished from protection applied to foreign countries, be successfully employed? _A._ Such is the opinion of several Members of the Government. _Q._ Has any other plan occurred to the patriotic statesman? _A._ Yes; it has been believed that a general tax for the National Defence would be a bond of union between the colonies and the mother country. _Q._ Does there not already exist a stronger tie than taxation? _A._ Certainly. The Empire has a common friend, adviser, amuser, and instructor, beloved of all the world. _Q._ Does, then, the profound respect felt for this popular personage keep the Empire in accord? _A._ Unquestionably. The popular personage represents not only Britons at home, but Britons beyond the sea. _Q._ And where is this popular personage found? _A._ In every part of the colonies, in India, in China, in fact, everywhere. _Q._ But has not this popular personage headquarters in London? _A._ He has, at 85, Fleet Street. * * * * * WANTED IMMEDIATELY.--A key for the dead-lock in the shipbuilding trade. * * * * * [Illustration: THE COVER SIDE. "LITTLE MR. TIMMINS EVIDENTLY THINKS THAT HAT SUITS HIM DOWN TO THE GROUND!" "SO IT WOULD, IF HIS EARS DIDN'T STOP IT!"] * * * * * CYCLING IN RUSSIA. [The only lady-cyclist in St. Petersburg has lately met with an accident, and is now in hospital. The police will issue no more permits to women.] Fair _Bárinya_, why did you go and tumble off your wheel? Your sad mishap has roused VON WAHL'S and all his minions' zeal-- He vows that ladies now no more shall ride their horse of steel!