DON JOSÉ, rising to respond to toast of his health, met with hearty reception. Misguided man at end of room proposed to greet him as "a jolly good fellow." Effort well meant; had the songster managed, at outset, to strike right note, the thing might have been done. As it was inappropriateness of this particular hymnal, combined with a certain flatness in the opening notes of the songster, chilled the choir. As SARK says, "jollity not precisely the quality one associates with JOE." So the melody, after feebly fizzling round the tables, was drowned in burst of laughter. Occasion was, as DON JOSÉ remarked, first time he had publicly appeared in capacity of Minister for the Colonies. In every way a happy one. A gathering representing the uttermost corners of the Empire, each vying with the other in loyalty to Crown. New Secretary, with easy grace, rose to height of situation. Struck lofty note in his picture of our fellow-subjects throughout the world recognising the great inheritance that has befallen them by mere virtue of their citizenship. "They must feel," he said, in ringing voice that found echo in the crowded room, "that no separate existence, however splendid, could compare with that they enjoy equally with ourselves as joint heirs of all the traditions of the past, joint partakers of all the influence, resources, and power of the British Empire." A speech not too long, splendidly pitched, admirably phrased, full of the old Palmerstonian ring, and yet, if closely examined, signifying nothing likely to embarrass a Minister in future relations either with Colonies or foreign powers. Just the thing for the hour, and the place. Full of promise for fresh triumphs for DON JOSÉ on the new pathway he surprised some people by selecting as his own. After the Colonial Secretary, the Lord High Admiral. DON CURRIE, also, though in quite a different way, in his best form. Could not look upon him as with clasped hands, and eyes upraised to a perturbed firmament, he protested against continued absence of imperial subvention of mail packets to the Cape, without thinking what a tragedian is here lost to the stage! Threw quite a fresh light on the Spanish Armada. "Why," he exclaimed, "the Spanish Armada, with the assistance of Portugal and Mexico, did not include as many ships as are under my management in the Castle fleet!" "Let us be grateful," said SARK, as the man in the hat and cloak department handed him through the pigeon-hole someone else's overcoat, "that DON CURRIE was not born before his time or out of his place. Had he been a subject of PHILIP THE SECOND, he would certainly have commanded the Armada. In which case the whole course of history would have been changed, and to-day Great Britain would have been even as Cuba." * * * * * THE NEW WOMAN IN SOMERSET. (_Told by the Old Woman at the Farm._)