'Twere market day, and JOHN were late, I thart o' steppin' out up t' hill, When there in t' road, 'gin barton gate, I see a body, sim faint and ill. 'Twere one o' these yer cyclist folk, Us ha'n't sin much on 'em Quantock way, But ROBERT to Lunnon, he've often spoke O' women in breeks--more shame, I say. Well, there! 'twere one on 'em, sure as sure; Look fair a-doneded--her must ha' bin-- So, breeks or no, when her knock on t' door, "Wark in," I says to her. "Plase to wark in." Her'd a summat to eat and drink, and then Her do tark so fast as a chatter-pie 'Bout 't rights o' women, and tyrant men, I tellee, her fair a-flummoxed I. Such a power o' words, sim Latin and Greek, As you couldn't tell up not one in ten, And her said as us art for to vote and speak, And be in t' Parliament, same as men. And a tarr'ble plenty o' nonsense more-- The things some folk do get putt'n about Afore JOHN come home, us opened t' door. And "Wark out, wull ee?" I says, "Wark out!" * * * * * WHAT'S IN A NAME?--The Hampshire County Council is dubious whether it should surrender the title of "County of Southampton" to the great borough, which Sir CHARLES SCOTTER has so greatly benefited. Why not call the county Cockhamptonshire, a cognomen which would _en-hants_ its supremacy over the district with a similar, but northern appellation? Those sensible county magnates the Messrs. PORTAL are always open to a practical suggestion. * * * * * Song for the Shipbuilding Trade. (_On the Clyde._) [What is called a "sympathetic" lock-out has been carried out by the employers on the Clyde, in consequence of a strike on the Larne at Belfast]. _Labour (after a celebrated model), loquitur_:-- I sits with my hands in my lap, And if any one axes me why, I points out Belfast to the chap; "It is 'sympathy' makes me," says I. * * * * * "SPEED THE PARTING, WELCOME THE COMING GUEST," OR "THE 'OUTS AND INS' OF IT."--Lord ROSEBERY left Sandringham, and Mr. CHAMBERLAIN arrived. * * * * * "O REFORM IT ALTOGETHER!"--The LORD MAYOR'S Show is a thing of the past. It was better done last Saturday than it has been on any recent occasion. But it would be "better done"--away with. * * * * * TO MR. CHAMBERLAIN AS COLONIAL MINISTER.--Many Happy Returns of his "Natal" Day. * * * * * [Illustration: "THE EYE OF THE LAW." (_Suggested by certain recent Cases in our Police Courts._)] * * * * * [Illustration: "AU PIED DE LA LETTRE." _Customer_ (_to famous Modiste_). "I'M PARTING WITH MY MAID, MADAME ALDEGONDE, AND I SHOULD LIKE TO GET HER INTO YOUR ESTABLISHMENT." _Madame A._ "WHAT CAN SHE DO?" _Customer._ "SHE'S ALREADY A VERY DECENT DRESSMAKER."