But how is Parliament going to limp along without our CONYBEARE, our SEYMOUR KEAY, and our DON'T KEIR HARDIE? I suppose it's all right. The SPEAKER will take Chair at usual hour; questions will be put and answered; Bills will make progress and 'the House will now adjourn.' But if the House of Commons is itself without the eminent persons I have mentioned, I at least shall not be able to recognise its identity." "Oh, cheer up," said ST. JOHN BRODRICK, Premier-maker, Destroyer of Majorities, sort of Parliamentary WARWICK. "You don't know what the future may have in store for you. There are fathomless possibilities in this unfamiliar crowd. It's true no new Members, as far as I observed, came down in a brake accompanied by trumpets also and shawms. But DON'T KEIR HARDIE didn't live up to that introduction. The fact is, it probably had something to do with his distinct failure. It raised expectation too high, and even his collarless shirt, his short jacket, his Tweed cap, and his tendency to shed papers out of his over-stuffed pockets as he walked about the premises, didn't make up what was lacking." Whilst WARWICK BRODRICK talking, he was constantly turning over things in his pockets. Thought at first it was money. "Been drawing your salary a quarter in advance?" I asked, anxious to learn the habits of the new Ministry. "No," said WARWICK, "it's not that. See," he said, picking out handful of small bullets; "these are what we use in the new rifles fired with cordite. Nice things you know. Will hop across two miles before you know where you are. In the other pocket got a few charges of cordite. No! Rather not see them? Well, no accounting for prejudice. I mean to keep a supply always on hand, or rather in pocket. Opposition not likely to do anything much yet awhile. But they'll try and form up by-and-by. When they do, I'll show 'em a cordite cartridge, rattle a few of these bullets, with their cupro-nickel jackets, and, poof! they're off just as they were when I defeated the late Government in June. Can't have too much of a good thing. What cordite's done once it may do again." And the Financial Secretary to the War Office walked off, ostentatiously rattling the contents of his pockets as he passed CAWMELL-BANNERMAN, who visibly faltered. _Business done._--NEW SPEAKER elected. * * * * * Arcades Ambo. The Heathen Chinee and Unspeakable Turk Seem largely alike, in Gehenna's black work. The earth would smile fairer, methinks, were it free Of Unspeakable Turk and of Heathen Chinee. * * * * * [Illustration: IDLE SPEECHES. "AND SO _THAT_'S HER HUSBAND, IS IT? LOOKS AS IF SHE'D WON HIM IN A RAFFLE!" "AND AS IF THE TICKETS FOR THAT RAFFLE HADN'T BEEN VERY EXPENSIVE!"] * * * * * THE OLLENDORF GUIDE TO KNOWLEDGE. THE CHEAP EXCURSIONIST.