REPORT FROM A MINOR CANON.--Archdeacon FARRAR, hitherto performing "Archi-diaconal functions" at Westminster, has just been "installed" Dean of CANTERBURY. There are, clearly, only two notable installations, one of the Electric Light, and the other of a Dean. Canterbury has now the chance of being thoroughly enlightened and electrified. * * * * * [Illustration: A CORRECT EYE. MRS. BROWN HAS BOUGHT HER HUSBAND TWENTY YARDS OF NATIVE SCOTCH HOMESPUN, AND HAS SENT FOR THE TAILOR OF THE GLEN TO MAKE HIM A SUIT THEREOF. THE TAILOR TAKES THE MATERIAL, GIVES A GLANCE AT BROWN, AND IS ABOUT TO DEPART. "BUT LOOK HERE," SAYS BROWN; "YOU'VE NOT TAKEN MY MEASURE!" _Tailor._ "HOOT, MAN, YE'RE NOT DEFORRM'D!"] * * * * * YOUNG PRIMROSE'S PARTY. A PLAINT OF THE POLLS. AIR--"_Hans Breitmann's Party_." Young PRIMROSE had a Party, He led it--like a lamb. It fell in love with a motley thing They called the Rad Pro-gramme. They swore that plan to fight for, Aye, fight till all was Blue; But when it came unto the Polls, That Party split in two. Young PRIMROSE had a Party, For Progress it was bound; But all the progress that it made Was staggering round and round. The liveliest shindies in the House, And mockery out-o'-door, Was all that Party caused, and so It dwindled more and more. Young PRIMROSE had a Party. I tell you it cost him dear. The Rads he led "rolled into" him Because he was a Peer: They tried to knock Bung's spigot in, The Caineites raised a cheer. I think that so fine a Party Never went bust on beer. Young PRIMROSE had a Party, They were all "_Souse undt Brouse_,"[1] A more divided company Ne'er wrangled in the House: They talked of "filling up the cup," Vetoing the Vitler's guilt; But soon they found the pot was full, And that the cup was spilt. Young PRIMROSE had a Party, Although it was not big, It tried to break the power of beer, And check the sway of swig! But soon they found 'twas all in vain, The brewer they did "cop"; And the company scattered like fighting crowds When the constable bids them stop. Young PRIMROSE _had_ a Party, Where is that Party now? Where are the lovely golden dreams Of the Newcastle pow-wow? Where are the Democratic plans, The L. C. C.'s delight? All floated away on a flood of beer Away--in the _Ewigkeit!_[2] [Footnote 1: "Saus und Braus": _Ger._ Riot and bustle.] [Footnote 2: "Ewigkrit": _Ger._ Eternity: "gone for ever".] * * * * *