_A Red-hot Radical._ Ah, what I ses is, it don't matter which you fetch a man out of--whether it's Newgit, or whether it's a mad 'ouse, 'e's good enough to make a Tory of! Look at 'im as 'as got in agen for West Puddlesford, 'e's a beauty--the 'ottest member in the 'Ouse, 'e is--_that_ feller, why, 'e's a reg'lar tinker's cuss, as I 'appen to know! (_Another result is exhibited. A Conservative Brewer gets in for Worcester. No change._) Good ole Bung'ole! It's the beer as _does_ it! _First Mechanic_ (_after a Radical majority at Devonport has been announced_). Well, I can't understand a dockyard town voting for a Radical; they get twice the amount o' work under a Tory government, that's a matter of common knowledge. _Second Mechanic._ What's the good o' that when others have got none at all? I'm all for _ekalizing_ the work--let 'em have 'alf the work and give others a chance. _First Mech._ You wouldn't accept 'alf the work _you_'ve got, I'll lay. You _would?_ Well, yer _missis_ wouldn't, then! _Second Mech._ She'd 'ave to. And why should 'alf of us starve? _First Mech._ Why should _all_ of us? But there's no use o' you and me _argufying_ about it. [_Which, of course, they continue to do notwithstanding; there is a lull in the returns, and the photographs and caricatures are once more in request_; Mr. CHAMBERLAIN'S _being exhibited upside down by way of variety_. _A Radical._ What d' yer think o' JOE _now?_ 'E's met with a reverse, eh! _A Tory._ _That_'s all right, mate; it on'y means as 'e's a goin' to do it on 'is 'ed! _An elderly and excited Irishwoman._ Ah, bad luck to 'im, the murtherin' scounthril! wants a _toitle_, dees he? Jist th' loike of all thim Saxon opprissors, th' toirant. What does _he_ care hwhat becomes o' th' poor Oirish, so long as he gets his billyfull? [_She pours a stream of denunciation into the ears of the nearest Radical._ _The Radical_ (_soothingly_). Good 'ole BRIDGET. But look 'ere, you needn't come and talk to _me_ about it. (_Indicating a Tory neighbour._ You go an' tell '_im!_ [_Which_ BRIDGET _does, volubly; more portraits are exhibited. One of_ Mr. JUSTIN MCCARTHY _being hailed with cries of "Brayvo_, LABBY!" and _"Our Cartoonist" being instantly recognised as the late_ Mr. PARNELL. _Radical Spectators_ (_after results of polling at Deptford, Halifax, Hartlepool, Bristol (North), (&c._). Oh dear, oh dear, oh _dear_. Well, I'm sure! MACNAMARA, the man 'oo polled the 'ighest votes in the School Board Election--and look at him _now!_ If SIDNEY WEBB 'ud ha' contested that, 'e'd a' _won_ it!... There's _another_ seat we've lost. Well, I was 'appier standing 'ere this time three years ago, blow'd if I wasn't!... Oh lor, my brother-in-law 'll go wild over this. My ole uncle 'll go arf orf his 'ed. (_&c., &c._) _An Irrelevant Person._ Tork about Tories! Why, I'll lay anybody a shillin' JEM SMITH, the fighting man, 's a Tory, and _all_ o' them prize-fighters are--and that's 'ow it's _done!_