Tourist, _who accepts a card out of sheer good-nature_). Now I shuffle the cards again, cut them, and (_exhibiting a court-card with mild triumph_) unless I am mistaken, Sir, _this_ was the card you chose! _The Rubicund Tourist._ Was it? I dessay, I dessay. I didn't notice particularly myself. [_Upon this the_ Young Man _recognises that his conjuring fails to charm, and retires to the funnel in apparent discomfiture._ _Excursionists_ (_to one another_). Card-tricks are all very well in their proper place; but, when you come out for a blow like this, why.... If it had been a little _music_, now, or a song, or soomat o' that soart, it would ha' been nahce enoof.... (_With dismay._) Why, danged if he isn't going to give us anoother turn of it! [_The_ Young Man _reappears, carrying two dismal old dummies with battered papier-maché heads, and preternaturally mobile jaws._ _The Y. M._ (_after planting these effigies in such a position as to depress as many as possible_). I now 'ave the pleasure of introducing to your notice two very old friends of mine, Mr. and Mrs. JEREMIAH JORDLES. (_The audience, not having energy enough to escape, submit in sombre resignation to these fresh tormentors, which goggle at them with cheerful imbecility._) Well, Mrs. JORDLES, Ma'am, and how do _you_ find yourself this afternoon? I 'ope you're enjoying this most delightful trip. [_He bends his head deferentially for the answer, with a sympathetic movement of his own lips._ _The Female Figure_ (_with a waggling jaw, and in an impossible falsetto_). No, I _ain't_ enj'yin' this most delightful trip, so there. I believe I'm going to be ill in a minute. I feel that queer, I do. _The Male Figure_ (_in a voice scarcely distinguishable from his introducer's own_). Queer? And no wonder, after taking all them pickled wornuts with yer sooet pudden! [_The_ Stout Lady's _ample cheeks are contorted by a transitory spasm, and the_ Cadaverous Tourist _passes his hand across his mouth, which the Ventriloquist construes as reluctant tributes to his facetious powers._ _Female F._ Well, _you_ needn't talk, after all them jam puffs and the prawns you swollered, 'eds and all! _Male F._ Ah, I _'ad_ a appetite. And I 'ate waste, I do. But lor, when I see her a swallerin' down that sorcer o' cockles just after clearing out the 'okypoky barrer, I knew she'd live to be sorry for it! _The Stout Lady_ (_to the_ Cadaverous Man). They didn't ought to be allowed to go on like this. Downright vulgarity _I_ call it! _The Cadaverous Man._ You are right, Mum It's quite enough to upset anybody. If he's going to make either of them images purtend to be unwell, I shall call the Captin and put a stop to it.