_The Y. M._ (_with a tardy perception that he might have chosen a more generally agreeable topic, and meanly throwing the blame upon the innocent dummies_). There, Mr. JORDLES, Sir, that'll do. We don't care to hear what you and your good lady took by way of a relish; tell us about something else. _Male F._ All right. There was a quart o' winkles, as wasn't over---- _The Y. M._ (_shaking_ Mr. JORDLES _up, and stopping his mouth_). 'Ush, Sir, 'ush! Beyave, now, and see if you can set quiet while Mrs. JORDLES sings us a little song. _Male F._ What? 'Er sing! 'Ere, chuck me overboard, will yer? I've _'eard_ her. _The Grumpy Exc._ (_in a savage undertone_). For heaven's sake chuck 'em _both_ overboard, and follow them! _Female F._ Oh, dear, me sing? I'm all of a flutter like. Well, what shall I sing? Oh, I know. (_Quavering._) "_Where are the friends of Child'ood now?_" _Male F._ Why, in gaol, doing time! [Mr. Jordles _is reproved and corrected as before, but his senile flippancy only excites general disgust, and when he proceeds to boast that a beautiful young lady he met in Bridlington has fallen violently in love with him, the audience clearly resent the statement as an outrage to their intelligence. The Ventriloquist perseveres a little longer, though even his own belief in the dummies seems to be shaken, and at length he gives them up as hopeless, and carries them off ignominiously, one under each arm. Whereupon the party breathe freely once more, only to gasp in impotent horror the next moment, as the irrepressible_ Young Man _returns with a smaller figure, modelled and dressed to represent an almost inconceivably repulsive infant. He perches himself on the bulwark, and placing this doll on his knee, affects to converse with it, until its precocity and repeated demands for a cheesecake render it an object of universal loathing and detestation. However, its pertness suddenly begins to flag, as beads gather upon the Ventriloquist's pallid brow, and allowing the figure to collapse in a limp heap, he rises unsteadily to his feet._ _The Y. M._ (_in faltering tones_). Ladies and gentlemen, such a thing has reelly never 'appened to me before in the 'ole course of my professional career; but I feel compelled to ask you kindly to excuse me if I break off for a few minutes, 'oping to resume--and with your kind indulg---- [_Here he staggers feebly away and is seen no more, while a faint smile may be observed for the first time to irradiate the faces of the company, as they realise that their sufferings are more than avenged._ [Illustration: "I feel compelled to ask you kindly to excuse me."] * * * * * CABBY; OR, REMINISCENCES OF THE RANK AND THE ROAD. (_By "Hansom Jack."_) No. IX.--PECKERS-UP!--ANTI-PRIG PHILOSOPHY--"TOMMY THE THUMPER"'S TALES--THE HAUNTED CAB.