equally appropriate but less impressive designation. It would indeed be a sad thing if it ever became necessary for some General to have to sing out, "Here, you Sir, in command of those Royal Ginger Popgunners, limber up your soda-water manufacturing apparatus and retire at the gallop to the canteen in the rear!" Such a direction, if delivered in the piping time of peace would sound incongruous, and might predict disaster if uttered in the hideous hour of war. * * * * * THE CRICKET THREE. Great GRACE to young MACLAREN yields his place, And RANGITSINHJI follows after GRACE. Mid Harrow's noblest sons let MAC be reckoned, Who tops the list with such a mighty second. And well I know that RANJIT'S fame will stand Firm and secure on India's coral strand. Oft have I seen upon the level sward That's owned, or used to be, by Mr. LORD, While countless thousands, watching ball and bat Rang out loud cheers and waved th' applausive hat, Oft have I seen that cricketer or this Bat, bowl, or field, or catch (or even miss), And oft, astounded by some piece of play, Have marked with letters red th' auspicious day; Yet ne'er before three heroes have I seen More apt and splendid on the well-rolled green; Men of one skill, though varying in race, MACLAREN, RANJITSINHJI, Grand Old GRACE. * * * * * Old Saw Re-set. Mr. GEORGE NATHANIEL CURZON May be a "superior purzon," But Mr. TOMMY GIBSON BOWLES Is the sturdiest of souls; And "those who at Bowles will play Must expect rubbers,"--so men say! * * * * * [Illustration: MUCH ADO. "MAMMA-A-A! BOO-HOO! WE'S CRYING! TUM UP 'TAIRS AN' SEE WHAT'S DE MATTER WIV US!"] * * * * * THE LAY OF THE LANCASHIRE LASS. ["What will Lancashire think to-day when she reads the declarations of Lord GEORGE HAMILTON and Mr. A. J. BALFOUR?"--_Leeds Mercury._] Oh, was it for this that I rushed to the poll To register votes for the Tories? When they told me repeal was the Unionist goal, Were they tales of (Stan) hope, or mere stories? The snare of the FOWLER they'd help me to scape They vowed--on each Lancashire platform. But Indian Finance _their_ excuse? A poor jape! I thought they _would_ rise above _that_ form! Oh, ARTHUR, oh, GEORGIE! Reeds broken and rotten I fear you are both, on reviewing it. You hinted at taking those duties off cotton, You don't seem to cotton to doing it! And now, when I'm trying your pity to move, Why seem you so deaf to my prayers? Perhaps you are bound to dissemble your love, But oh!--_must_ you kick me down stairs? * * * * *