One day there is the _régates_--the regattas. We go all on the little pier, and I see the Duckunt, the Watter-polo, the Greasepol. Ah, it is of the most amusings! On the promenade there is the musicians, who play of the organ, of the banjo; also the singers that you call "nigers." They are there all together, and one hears the valse, the hymn, the song of the Coffee Concert, all at the time. There is also a man who walks himself on some stilts. He is very droll, and the assistance--_l'assistance_--laughs much. Me I laugh as the other spectators. The evening there is a fire of artifice, and the little town is of the most gay. There is some "set-pieces," as one calls them, and I read "Welcome to our Visitors." That is very polite; I offer my thanks to Misters the Municipal Councillors of Sandown. And there is one other which I see hardly, I see but "Success to ----." My friend SMITH tells to me that it is "Success to our Saloon Bar." That may be. But he is _blagueur_ this SMITH, he pleasants--_plaisante_, how say you?--sometimes. _A vrai dire_--to true to say--Sandown is well agreeable, above all when he makes fine. _Et il faisait un temps superbe_--he was making a superb time. As to the other parts of the Island of Wight, I go to speak you of them in one other letter. Agree, &c., AUGUSTE. * * * * * [Illustration: "DADDY'S WAISTCOAT!" (_Sketched from Life in Drury Lane._)] * * * * * The Bechuanaland potentate visiting our shores is voted by all "a jolly good fellow," and is generally admitted to be what, in Parisian parlance, is known as a _bon Khama-rade_. * * * * * "JEWELL'S APOLOGY."--Paste. * * * * * PUNCH TO THE RUGBY UNION. ["Professionalism is illegal."--_First "New Law" adopted by the Rugby Union for the control of Rugby Football._] ROWLAND HILL, and gentlemen all, Thanks for your efforts to "keep up the ball" Out of the Moneygrub's sordid slime! "Professionalism" and "Broken Time" Wanted the touch of a vigorous hand To keep the Amateur Football Band From the greedy clutch of the spirit of trade And speculation, alas! arrayed In spoil-sport fashion against true sport, On turf and river, in course and court. Keep it up, gentlemen! Let not the shame Of money-greed mar one more grand English game! * * * * * "THE NEW WOMAN" AT THE LYCEUM, _i.e._, Mrs. PATRICK CAMPBELL as _Romeo-Robertson's Juliet_. Heartily can we "pat CAMPBELL" on her delicate shoulder for her rendering of her share in the "Balcony Scene." That "The CAMPBELLS are coming" we all know; but whether this particular CAMPBELL, "of that ilk," has yet "arrived" is the question on which we shall have more to say "in our next." Scenically, satisfactory. Dramatically, doubtful. * * * * * UGLY.