And some day, when the beds have ceased To cater for your daily feast, You'll see--the after growth is fair-- A green and feathery forest there, And "here," you'll say, "is what shall cheer My palate in the coming year. "Yea, when these graceful pigmy trees Have swayed their last in any breeze, And all is bare, I may again See the ripe heads that pierce the plain, And eat once more before I die Our garden-grown asparagi." R. C. L. * * * * * Massage in the 18th Century. "_Anatomy._ Albinus (Bernard Siegfried). Tables of the Skeleton and Muscles of the Human Body, translated from the Latin. Folio, half calf (joints cracked, back rubbed). _Edinburgh 1777-78._" * * * * * A Special Correspondent of _The Evening News_ wrote last week:-- "As for the Queen, from the moment she stepped off the yacht till she got into the train she went on smiling and bowing and murmuring 'Merci, oh merci bien?' I do not, of course, know what she was thinking." Possibly it had something to do with gratitude. * * * * * [Illustration: A LIGHTNING ROYALTY ACADEMICIAN. (_All done while you wait._) (Mr. DENNIS EADIE.)] * * * * * MY LORD'S DINNER. [A companion picture to Mr. EDWARD KNOBLAUCH'S play, _My Lady's Dress_.] PROLOGUE. William _and_ Mary _have returned from the Royalty Theatre, where they have attended a play in several scenes each representing some incident in the making of a lady's dress._ _William_ (_for the ninth time_). Capital dinner we had to-night, dear. Don't know when I've had a better. _Mary._ Oh, bother your old dinner. What did you think of the play? _William._ H'm, not bad. Don't know that I care about those dream plays. (_After deep thought_) Capital caviare, that. _Mary_ (_annoyed_). You think of nothing but your food. Didn't you think DENNIS EADIE was splendid? _William._ Very clever. A remarkable _tour de force_. H'm. Capital whitebait, too. Did you notice the saddle of lamb, my love? Capital. _Mary._ I thought it was all very novel and interesting. _William._ The dinner, my dear? Not exactly novel, but certainly---- _Mary_ (_coldly_). I wasn't referring to the dinner. If you could manage to get your mind off your meals occasionally, I should like to discuss the play. _William_ (_yawning_). Not to-night, dear, I'm sleepy.... Capital dinner; don't know when I've had a better.... Very, very sleepy. [_He goes to bed and dreams._ THE DREAM. SCENE I. _Moscow. The top of the Shot Tower where they make the caviare._ Alexandrovitch _is discovered at work. Enter_ Marieovitch. _Alexandrovitch_ (_dropping his sturgeon and clasping her round the neck_). At last, my love! _Marieovitch._ Be careful. Williamovitch suspects. He hates you.