Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, April 8, 1914Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, April 8, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
I don't quite know what picture of the event Myra and I had conjured up
in our minds, but I fancy it was one something like this. At the
entrance into the rooms of such a large and obviously distinguished
party there would be a slight sensation among the crowd, and way would
be made for us at the most important table. It would then leak out that
Chevalier Simpson--the tall poetical-looking gentleman in the middle, my
dear--had brought with him no less a sum than thirty francs with which
to break the bank, and that he proposed to do this in one daring _coup_.
At this news the players at the other tables would hastily leave their
winnings (or losings) and crowd round us. Chevalier Simpson, pale but
controlled, would then place his money on seventeen--"_dix-sept_," he
would say to the croupier to make it quite clear--and the ball would be
spun. As it slowed down the tension in the crowd would increase. "_Mon
Dieu_!" a woman would cry in a shrill voice; there, would be guttural
exclamations from Germans; at the edge of the crowd strong men would
swoon. At last a sudden shriek ... and the croupier's voice, trembling
for the first time for thirty years, "_Dix-sept!_" Then gold and notes
would be pushed at the Chevalier. He would stuff his pockets with them;
he would fill his hat with them; we others, we would stuff our pockets
too. The bank would send out for more money. There would be loud cheers
from all the company (with the exception of one man, who had put five
francs on sixteen and had shot himself) and we should be carried--that
is to say, we four men--shoulder high to the door, while by the deserted
table Myra and Dahlia clung to each other weeping tears of happiness ...
Something like that.
What happened was different. As far as I could follow, it was this. Over
the heads of an enormous, badly-dressed and utterly indifferent crowd
Simpson handed his thirty francs to the croupier.
"_Dix-sept_," he said.
The croupier with his rake pushed the money on to seventeen.
Another croupier with his rake pulled it off again ... and stuck to it.
The day's fun was over.
* * * * *
"What _did_ win?" asked Myra some minutes later, when the fact that we
should never see our money again had been brought home to her.
"Zero," said Archie.
I sighed heavily.
"My usual score," I said, "not my highest."
A. A. M.
* * * * *
THE SUPER-STORES.
(_At a well-known Universal Emporium several Champions have been engaged
to demonstrate the art of golf in the Games Department._)
[Illustration: SIR GREGORY PILLKINGTON M.D., F.R.C.P., ETC., ETC., WILL
BE IN ATTENDANCE IN THE DRUG DEPARTMENT, WHERE ALL CUSTOMERS MAY EXHIBIT
THEIR TONGUES FREE OF CHARGE.]
[Illustration: IN THE ART DEPARTMENT, SIR WILLIAM DAUBER, R.A., WILL
GIVE A DEMONSTRATION ON THE LAYING ON OF COLOUR TO EVERY PURCHASER OF A
SIXPENNY BOX OF PAINTS.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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