"DERBYSHIRE.--To sell, handsome well-built and superbly finished semi-detached Mouse, containing two entertaining, six bed rooms, dressing-room, and excellent bathroom."--_Advt. in "Manchester Guardian"._ We had no idea a mouse had so much accommodation. * * * * * "It was our intention before now to say a kindly word for 'The New Weekly.' We trust we are not too late yet." _Westminster Gazette._ No. The paper after three weeks or so is still alive. But our green contemporary should have had more confidence in it. * * * * * [Illustration: AN ASQUITH TO THE RESCUE! WAR MINISTER (_to PREMIER_). "HOLD TIGHT! I'LL SEE YOU THROUGH."] * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. (EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.) * * * * * [Illustration: THE NEW "DEMOCRATISED" ARMY. Certain officers having been guilty of the heinous offence of choosing one of two alternatives offered them by their superiors, it is now proposed to remodel our military system on democratic lines so as to leave no room for suspicion of political bias. [Major RAMSAY MACDONALD, Field-Marshal the Baron BYLES OF BRADFORD, Lieut.-Col. Sir J. BRUNNER, Capt. JOHN WARD and Col. KEIR HARDIE.]] * * * * * _House of Commons, Monday, March 30._--Stirring quarter of an hour. For dramatic surprise Drury Lane or Sadlers Wells in palmiest days not in it with T. R. Westminster. Doors open as usual at 2.45. In a few minutes there was standing room only. Appointed business of sitting Third Reading of Consolidated Fund Bill. Peculiarity of this measure is that through successive stages, each occupying a full sitting, no one even distantly alludes to its existence or provisions. Any other subject under the sun may, and is, talked around at length. To-day expected that opportunity would be seized by Opposition to make fresh attack on Government in respect of the Curragh affair and all it led to. Hence the crowded benches and prevalent expectation of a scrimmage. A cloud of questions addressed to PRIME MINISTER answered with that directness and brevity that mark his share in the conversation. Questions on Paper disposed of, LEADER OF OPPOSITION asked whether Sir JOHN FRENCH and Sir SPENCER EWART had withdrawn their resignation? Answering in the negative, the PREMIER paid high tribute to the ability, loyalty and devotion to duty with which the gallant officers have served the Army and the State. He added, what was regarded as foregone conclusion, that SECRETARY OF STATE FOR WAR had thought it right to press his proffered resignation. Here it seemed was end of statement. Members expected to see PREMIER resume his seat. He continued in the same level businesslike tone:--