Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, April 8, 1914 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, April 8, 1914Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, April 8, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
The applicant for work is usually thrown into a state of nervous
prostration by the difficulties that beset his task. By a perusal of the
following hints he may learn to acquire an invulnerable calm, and if he
follows the directions given he can reckon on surprising results.
Suppose the application is for clerical work.
When you are shown into the office of the employer he will probably be
engaged with his correspondence. Do not stand meekly in front of him
till he looks up and addresses you. This is playing into his hands.
Instead, be perfectly at your ease. Make yourself at home. You might
ring up one of your acquaintances on the telephone and have a little
chat until the employer is disposed to interview you.
Possibly, however, he himself may be using the instrument. If so draw a
seat to the desk and write any little note you may wish to. You will
find writing materials handy. The stamps are usually kept in one of the
small drawers to the right of the desk.
Either of these proceedings will show that you are used to an office and
will create an impression on the employer. If you look at him you will
see that it has done so.
If he stares at you and continues to stare, say pleasantly, "What a
glorious sky this morning! I believe we are in for a long spell of fine
weather."
At this he will probably grunt out gruffly, "Ugh!"
Sympathise with his tonsils. Recommend any simple remedy of which you
have heard, or point out the advantages of several spots on the Sussex
coast. Ask him where his favourite holiday resort is; whether he goes
there alone or if he is married, and if so how many children he has. Ask
if they are all well at home.
Remember politeness costs nothing.
This method of leading up to business is much better than the old one,
in which you stand and are bullied by a man who has no sort of right
over you except that he has employment to offer and you want it badly.
Therefore converse with him as if he were an equal, though possibly he
may be your inferior.
He may not answer your kind enquiries, but look you up and down from the
welt of your boot to your scarf-pin. All employers have learnt this
method of scrutiny. They have learnt it from their wives.
Should he examine you in this manner, smile agreeably and walk a few
yards to display your profile. Then change the angle and afford him a
back view. Say easily, "This collar fits neatly, does it not?" or
something like that.
Turning, you can show yourself pleased with his own style of dress.
"Excuse my mentioning it," you remark, "but your taste in neck-gear is
exquisite. I have similar ties myself."
This will flatter him, and those men are very susceptible to flattery.
Also he will be led to speculate favourably upon the stylishness and
extent of your wardrobe.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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