A sovereign (net) for entrance fee-- And Nibbs is on the list Of patrons who support a free Impartial pessimist; Yet shall his faith not wholly burst; He shares, in common with his "Cap'n," The view that, when we reach the worst, Then nothing worse can happen. O. S. * * * * * THE CABINET MEETS. _Mr. ASQUITH._ Perhaps the most important point before us, now that the Naval Estimates are settled satisfactorily, is the question how we're to get through the Session. The Labour Party seems discontented. _Mr. HARCOURT_ (_airily_). I like talking over their denunciations with them as they walk through the lobby with us afterwards. _Mr. ASQUITH._ Yes, I agree that their altitude is not of overwhelming importance. Oh, by the way, I have had an interview with Mr. REDMOND. He is pleased to say that at present he is favourably disposed to us. _All_ (_except Lord CREWE_). That's all right. _Lord CREWE._ H'm. _Mr. JOHN BURNS._ I---- _Mr. ASQUITH._ Pardon me if I interrupt, but there is a bad feeling in the country. A paper known as _The Spectator_ even suggests the impeachment of the Government. _Mr. LLOYD GEORGE._ I am not surprised. Unprincipled attacks are often made on me by political muckrakers. I sometimes think that I shall give up politics. _Lord CREWE._ H'm. _Mr. BIRRELL._ And suggestions are made that Ministers should be hanged in Downing Street. Now in Dublin one allows a certain latitude, but in Downing Street! _Mr. MCKENNA._ I have consulted the police authorities on the point. They inform me that the lamp-posts would only bear an exceedingly light weight. _Lord HALDANE._ That is most reassuring. _Colonel SEELEY._ There's another threat. They talk of the Lords throwing out the Army Bill. _Mr. LLOYD GEORGE._ Good--a saving of thirty (or is it fifty?) millions--a great democratic Budget--and an election-winning cry, "The Lords destroy the Army." _Lord CREWE._ H'm. _Colonel SEELEY._ But we need the Army. _Mr. LLOYD GEORGE._ What for? Its elimination would be a great moral example to Germany. _Some_ nation must take the lead in the peace movement. _Mr. CHURCHILL._ The third great election-winner! I suppose National Insurance and Land go back to the stable. _Mr. BURNS._ I---- _Mr. BIRRELL_ (_hastily_). But there's Ulster. What about Ulster? _Mr. CHURCHILL._ The solution is simple. We revive the Heptarchy. _Mr. LLOYD GEORGE._ The Heptarchy was a Saxon institution. It makes no appeal to the ardent, fervid intensely religious Celt. _Lord CREWE._ H'm. _Mr. BURNS._ I---- _Mr. HARCOURT_ (_interrupting_). But what are we to do about Ulster? _Mr. ASQUITH._ We must await the reply to our offer. _Mr. BIRRELL._ But have we made an offer? I said we had, but have we? _Mr. MCKENNA._ (_acutely_). We might await a reply to our tentative offer of an offer. _Mr. ASQUITH._ Good, MCKENNA, very good. I appreciate the delicate distinction.