Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, March 25, 1914 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, March 25, 1914Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 146, March 25, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
_House of Commons, Monday, March 16._--The WINSOME WINSTON, sauntering
in from behind SPEAKER'S Chair when Questions had advanced some way,
startled by strident cheer from Ministerialists and Irish Nationalists.
Opposition angrily replied. FIRST LORD, faintly blushing, found
anchorage on Treasury Bench. Unpremeditated outburst of enthusiasm meant
as welcome back from Bradford, where he reviewed political situation
with force and frankness that recalled his father's platform speeches
delivered in his prime. Demonstration repeated when later he rose to
answer question concerning his department. Fresh storm of cheering from
Ministerialists responded to by defiant shouts from Opposition.
WINSTON evidently the man of the moment.
PRIME MINISTER, happily refreshed by week-end holiday, finds himself
faced by crowd wanting to know all sorts of things that might happen
concurrently with, or subsequent to, proposed temporary exclusion of
parts of Ulster from operation of Home Rule Bill. There were twenty-six
Questions. Assuming minimum number of Supplementaries, there would have
been at least one hundred.
To amazement and vexation of earnest seekers after truth, the twenty-six
querists discovered that they were being bowled over faster than
commonplace nine-pins. As NORMAN CRAIG breathlessly complained, the
PREMIER, having answered a question, did not, as is his custom of an
afternoon, resume his seat, and thus provide opportunity for
supplementary questioner.
This was his method: Taking in hand a sheet of manuscript he recited,
"Number 45. This is a hypothetical question. Indeed, it involves no
fewer than three hypotheses. Numbers 57, 64 and 72 are in the same
category."
Before you knew where you were, bang went four questions. Member after
Member rose to protest. The PREMIER babbled on like the brook.
"The answer to number 46 and to the first part of 70 is in the negative.
The answer to number 48 is in the affirmative. Number 49 in the
negative. I proceed to number 52."
Members held their breath. What could he say about 52? Evidently he
meant to treat it in different fashion.
"Number 52," he continued in the same level voice, as if he were reading
catalogue at picture sale, "refers to a small matter which can easily be
provided for."
Here was batch of another five questions disposed of in barely more than
as many seconds. And to think of all the industry and ingenuity bestowed
upon the preparation of this succession of pitfalls designed for the
engulfing of a ruthless Minister and the dislocation of an iniquitous
Bill!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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