And when I take my little whip To punish "Mr. A." And find I've made another slip I giggle out, "Hurray!" And under lock and key I trill, Although my cell's a strong one:-- "I didn't hit the right man, still At least I hit the wrong one." * * * * * Bethnal Green and Leith. We are asked to say that some of the best friends of the Government take a grave view of the acclamations with which the Liberal Press has been greeting the recent "moral victories" of the Party at the polls. A few more of these moral victories and the language o£ triumph will, they fear, be exhausted before an actual victory occurs. * * * * * "Lord Plymouth's donation of £30,000 completes the purchase of the Crystal Palace. The shortage was due to Mr. Camberwell's refusal to contribute, and also to a reduction in Mr. Pinge's contribution by £15,000." _Otago Daily Times._ On the other hand we are glad to be in a position to say that Lord Penge, the Hon. Mrs. Sydenham Hill and the Dowager Lady Dulwich have behaved most generously. * * * * * "Respecting Ichthemic Guano, you can make use of my name, as it is one of the best fertilisers on the market." _From a Trade Circular._ We should like to know what our old friend Ichthemic Guano has to say about this. He will not like to hear that anybody else's name competes with his in the fertilising market. * * * * * [Illustration: THE HOLY ESTATE: AN EX-PARTE VIEW. _Her Ladyship._ "SO YOU ARE LEAVING TO GET MARRIED, THOMPSON? I MUST COME AND SEE YOUR WIFE WHEN YOU ARE COMFORTABLY SETTLED." _The Lover._ "THANK YOU, ME LADY. SHE SEEMS A NICE QUIET SORT OF GIRL, AND I 'AVE HEVERY 'OPE SHE'LL MAKE ME COMFORTABLE."] * * * * * BELLES LETTRES AND OTHERS. Most of us have been startled to observe how very far real life falls short of the standard of books. The realisation has come home to me with great force after reading _Whispers of Passion_, a collection of love-letters by "Amorosa," which I could not refrain from comparing with certain authentic love-letters (as I suppose I must call them) which happen to be in my possession. What a contrast! What a melancholy contrast! Here, for example, is the tender opening of one of "Amorosa's" efforts: "BELOVED,--This morning I saw the sun rise from behind the grey hills that rampart our secluded vale. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, as I watched, the sombre robes of the Night were irradiated and enrosed by the mysterious fires of the Dawn. And herein, my dear one, I seemed to grasp a deathless symbol of the awakening of Love between us, the first slow gilding of our grey lives by the roseate glamour of romance...." And so on. Now read this, taken from one in my own collection treating of the same subject:--