"DEAR WOGGLES,--How _dare_ you hint that I'm lazy? As a matter of fact I saw the sunrise only this morning, which reminds me of a story. I daresay you know it already. A small boy decided to keep a diary, and the first entry he made was: '_1st January--Got up at 8.15._' His mater objected to this on the ground that _got up_ was too slangy. 'Look at the sun,' she said. 'The sun doesn't _get up_; it _rises_.' The same evening, after the boy had gone to bed, she looked at the diary again. There was only one other entry: '_Set at 9._' Not much of a yarn, is it, Woggles? But still it's good enough for you...." Or consider this beautiful conclusion: "... Dear, I am all thine. My soul calls to thee across the night; the beating of my heart cries through the darkness--Thine, thine, thine! Good night, adored one, good night. AMOROSA." And contrast it with the following:-- "... And now I must dry up or I shan't be in bed by midnight, and the old man will lose his hair and say I'm ruining my precious constitution. Ta ta. Be a good infant. Yours, MADGE." "Amorosa's" lover appears to have sent her a bracelet, and must have felt richly repaid when he received this:-- "... As I clasped the slender circlet around my wrist I seemed to hear a voice which said, 'This is pure gold; let your love be pure. It is an emblem of infinity; let your trust be infinite. It is a pledge of fidelity; let your faithfulness be immutable...." But this is how Madge expresses herself on a similar occasion:-- "... Thanks very much for the bracelet. It seems pretty decent...." Let me give two other extracts which happen to treat of similar themes. Here is the first:-- "... I heard music surging in great waves of divine beauty from Belnobbio's 'cello, and, magically, wonderfully, it lured and compelled my thoughts, beloved one, to you. In all those immortal harmonies I heard your voice; the Master's rapt features faded into mist, and I saw instead your own grave, strong face. Tell me, what is this power which can so converge all beauties to one centre?..." And here is the second:-- "... I went to hear Kranzer yesterday, and oh, Woggles, I tell you, he is the edge, the very ultimate edge! I _rave_ over him day and night. I'm madly, head-over-heels, don't-know-how-to-express-it in love with him. I'm going to throw you over and follow him about all round the world, and whenever I get the chance just lie down and let him wipe his boots on me. So--resign yourself to it; you'll probably never see again, Your fatally smitten MADGE." Occasionally, it is true, there occurs in these deplorable letters just a touch of sentiment, but how crudely, how prosaically expressed. Immediately after the passage quoted above, for instance, I find this:--