"P.S.--Dear old boy, you don't mind when I rag you, do you? Here's just a teeny-weeny × for you. M." How does "Amorosa" phrase such a sentiment? "... My lips cannot touch your lips, but my soul seeks yours, and in that spiritual embrace there is something of eternity." * * * And yet, after all---- * * * * * [Illustration: THE TATTOOER'S ART. _Exasperated Backer._ "'IT 'IM CHARLEY; DON'T LOOK AT THEM PICTURES."] * * * * * GNOMES FOR GOLFERS. In April when the cuckoos call Glue both your optics on the ball. In May avoid the water-ouzel Whose warning note predicts a foozle. In Summer when the lies are good Propel it smartly with the wood. In August should the peacock shriek Renounce the baffy for the cleek; But if your stroke becomes too "sclaffy" Give up the cleek and use the baffy. In Autumn when the lies are clammy Replace the brassie by the "Sammy." But when the course is dry and grassy Replace the "Sammy" by the brassie. In Winter when the lies are slimy Be up or in, or lay a stymie. When caddies chatter on the green Rebuke them, but remain serene. But when they hiccough on the tee Pay them their regulation fee. Whene'er you chance to top your drive Before you speak count twenty-five. But if you slice into the rough Thirty will hardly be enough. When beaten by a single putt You may ejaculate, "Tut, tut." But if you're downed at dormy nine Language affords no anodyne. Where frequent pots the green environ Take turf approaching with the iron. No game is lost until it's won; The duffer may hole out in one. If down the course the pill you'd punch Be careful what you eat at lunch. A simple cut from off the joint May cure your shots to cover-point. But lobsters, trifle and champagne May even prove the plus-man's bane. * * * * * The Nine St. Denys's. "Thereupon the Labour party sang 'The Red Flag,' the deportees joining in the chorus, bearing their heads during the singing." _South Wales Echo._ [Illustration: A DEVOTEE OF "THE DOCTRINE."] * * * * * ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT. (EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.) _House of Lords, Monday, February 23rd._--Temporarily relieved from thoughts of Ulster or meditations upon Marconi, House gave itself up to bright debate on question not less attractive because of spice of personality. Spice acquired additional piquancy since it was not supposed to be there. Its absence was indeed formally insisted upon. "Oh no, we never mention him. His name is never heard." All the same, as debate went forward, names _did_ occur. Glances, furtively shot from side to side of House, casually rested upon particular seats, whether empty or occupied.