Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, December 23, 1914Various
General
Punch or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, December 23, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
One of the most practical is a boot-cleaning set in strong pigskin with
gold clasps, including, very ingeniously, a bottle of patent-leather
reviver. Another pigskin, indispensable at the Front, holds a complete
tea-set. It resembles the old tea-basket, but weighs at least five
ounces less (no small matter on the march, I am told) and is more
compact. With such a gift as this, no officer need ever again go without
tea in the trenches. Messrs. Slimmer and Bang are to be congratulated.
Anything more charming than the Service card-cases at Messrs. Slosson
and Kay's I have never seen. One side is intended for paper notes, of
which every officer at the Front is in constant need; the other half is
reserved for his visiting-cards, which it is _de rigueur_, I am told, to
leave on the enemy after every visit to their trenches. Some officers go
so far as to place their cards on the point of their bayonet--a
characteristic British touch. Messrs. Slosson and Kay also have charming
combinations of drinking-flask and ear-syringe in all the more precious
metals, and field-glasses studded with diamonds. For home use the same
firm has a most delightful Special Constable's gold-mounted truncheon,
which unscrews for liquid refreshment, of which our S. C.'s are often in
need.
Messrs. Kyte and Kyte have a really dinky little Game Book especially
prepared for the War and as a Christmas gift. It differs at first sight
very little from the ordinary game book of an English shoot, but on
examination we find that the game is of larger size. The divisions
include all ranks of the German army, so that an exact analysis of one's
bag can be kept. Messrs. Kyte and Kyte also make a Service Fountain Pen
which not only acts as a pen but also as a clinical thermometer and
pipe-cleaner. It has furthermore an attachment for removing stones from
horses' feet. Made in gold, it is a most becoming Yuletide gift.
* * * * *
Illustration: "AND WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU, SIR?"
"I'M LOOKING FOR MY FATHER. HAS HE BEEN IN HERE? HE'S AN OLD MAN 'BOUT
THIRTY-SEBEN."
* * * * *
A CREDIBILITY INDEX.
"This Poland business is still rather hard to follow," said my wife
plaintively, after consulting the latest newspaper map pinned over the
mantelpiece, "and I know it's tremendously important. I wish they
wouldn't keep fighting in small villages that aren't marked; and really
beyond the bare fact that both armies repeatedly surround one another
simultaneously it is not at all easy to gather just what they are at."
"The whole thing would be as clear as day," said my sister-in-law, who
likes to be regarded as an authority on land operations--I am myself our
Naval Expert--"if only one knew what to believe. Have the Germans
occupied Przsczwow or have they not?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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