"I think they must have done. Last night's paper said that it was believed that Przsczwow was officially occupied, and it says here that it is officially stated that Przsczwow is believed to be occupied." "It's only partially official," said I, who had carefully collated the reports on the point. "It was semi-official from Amsterdam, official from Berlin, considered to emanate from a good source in Rome, and unofficially denied in Petrograd." "It _must_ be true," said my wife. "You were always a good believer, dear," said I. "I doubt if I know any one who has believed as much in sheer quantity as you have since the war began. You know you swallowed that yarn about----" "Don't you think," my wife broke in hastily (for she simply hates to be reminded of the Russians in England), "that we ought to have a sort of index to judge these rumours by?" "I see," said I. "One hundred for absolute reliability. _Nil_ for the perfect and utter lie." The table which resulted was hung up beside the map for reference; I recommend it for general use. London, Paris or Petrograd (official)............... 100 " " " (semi-official).......... 50 Berlin (official)................................... 25 It is believed in military circles here that----.... 24 A correspondent who has just returned from the firing-line tells me that----....................... 18 It is freely stated in Brussels that----............ 17 Our correspondent at Amsterdam wires that----....... 13 Our correspondent at Rome announces that----........ 11 Berlin (unofficial)................................. 10 I learn from a neutral merchant that----............ 7 A story is current in Venice to the effect that----. 5 It is rumoured that----............................. 4 I have heard to-day from a reliable source that----. 3 I learn on unassailable authority that----.......... 2 It is rumoured in Rotterdam that----................ 1 Wolff's Bureau states that----...................... 0 We didn't put in my wife's other sister who lives on the East coast, because I don't like to hurt people's feelings. My wife hears from her frequently. Her average is about nineteen to one against, so that her proper place on the list would be bracketed with the story from Venice. * * * * * TREASURES IN STORE. He is a great man in the Pantomime world. As he rose from his roll-top desk with the evident intention of kicking me, I hastened to explain that I was only a harmless reporter come to look at some of the new lyrics. "Ah," said he, "that alters the case. I thought you were another topical songster. Now here's a clever little piece about the Navy." I stretched out my hand for it. "No," he said. "So much depends on intelligent expression and emphasis that I'd better read it to you. I think of calling this one 'The Battle of the Brine.'