Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, December 30, 1914Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 147, December 30, 1914
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
It is true that I have been shorn of my honours and privileges, that I
live in exile as a prisoner and that the vile insulters of fallen
majesty compass me about. I who once dwelt in splendour and issued my
commands to the legions of the faithful am treated with contumely by a
filthy pack of time-servers, and have nothing that I can call my own
except, for the moment, the air that I breathe. Oh, for an hour of the
old liberty and power! It would amuse me to see the faces of ENVER and
of my wretched brother MOHAMMED as I ordered them to execution--them
and their gang of villainous parasites. By the bowstring of my
fathers, but that would be a great and worthy killing! Pardon the fond
day-dreams of a poor and lonely old man whose only crime has been that
he loved his country too well and treated his enemies with a kindness
not to be understood by those black and revengeful hearts.
I remember that in the old days there were not wanting those who
warned me against you. "Beware," they said, "of the GERMAN EMPEROR. He
will use you for his own purposes, and will then cast you aside like
an orange that has been squeezed." But I paid no heed to their jealous
imaginings, and I had my reward. Not, indeed, that you were able to
save me when the wicked burst upon me and cast me down. The stroke was
too sudden, and you, alas, were too far. But the memory of our
delightful friendship is still with me to sustain and comfort me in my
tribulations. I still have some of the letters in which you poured out
your heart to me, and when melancholy oppresses me I take them from my
breast and read them over and over again.
It is a joy to me to know that there is a firm alliance between my
brave Turks and your magnanimous soldiers. I doubt not that Allah, the
good old friend of the Turks, will continue to bless you and give you
victory after victory over your enemies. It is no less a joy to learn
how gloriously and how sagaciously you are conducting this war. They
tell me that your ships have bombarded the coast towns of England, and
that five or six hundred of the inhabitants have fallen before your
avenging shells. What matters it that these towns were not fortified
in the strict and stupid sense, and that there were many women and
children amongst those you slew? The towns _were_ fortified in the
sense that they were hostile to your high benevolence, and as for
women and children you need not even dream of excusing yourself to
_me_. These English are no better than Armenians. It is necessary to
extirpate them, and the younger you catch them the less time they have
for devising wickedness against the Chosen of Allah. As for women,
they need hardly be taken into account. In all these matters I know by
your actions that you agree. You must proceed on your noble course
until the last of these infidels is swept away to perdition.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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