May I condole with you on the loss of your four ships of war by the guns of the British Admiral STURDEE? That was, indeed, a cowardly blow, and it is hard to understand why it was allowed. Farewell then, my Brother. Be assured again of the undying friendship and admiration of the poor exile, ABDUL HAMID. * * * * * KILL OR CURE. [_Reports continue to reach us from our brave troops in the field that they "never felt fitter," are "in the best of spirits," and so forth._] Have you a bronchial cough, or cold, And is your ailment chronic Past every sort of cure that's sold? We'll tell you of a tonic. Just wing our agents here a wire And book "A Fortnight Under Teuton Fire." Do you admit with anxious mind Your liver's loss of movement, And that in consequence you find Your temper needs improvement? Then leave awhile your stool or bench And try our "Month Inside a Flooded Trench." Are you a broken nervous wreck, Run short of red corpuscles, Painfully scraggy in the neck, And much in need of muscles? Come to us now--for now's your chance-- And take our "Lively Tour Through Northern France." * * * * * [Illustration: DISHONOURED. CAPTAIN OF THE _EMDEN_. "DIRTY WORK!"] * * * * * THE REAL HERO OF THE WAR. There is an impression about that among the candidates for the position of real hero of the war KING ALBERT might have a chance; or even Lord KITCHENER or Sir JOHN FRENCH. But I have my doubts, after all that I have heard--and I love to hear it and to watch the different ways in which the tellers narrate it: some so frankly proud, some just as proud, but trying to conceal their pride. After all that I have heard I am bound to believe that for the real hero of the war we must look elsewhere. Not much is printed of this young fellow's deeds; one gets them chiefly by word of mouth and very largely in club smoking-rooms. In railway carriages too, and at dinner-parties. These are the places where the champions most do congregate and hold forth. And from what they say he is a most gallant and worthy warrior. Versatile as well, for not only does he fight and bag his Bosch, but he is wounded and imprisoned. Sometimes he rides a motor cycle, sometimes he flies, sometimes he has charge of a gun, sometimes he is doing Red Cross work, and again he helps to bring up the supplies with the A.S.C. He has been everywhere. He was at Mons and he was at Cambrai. He marched into Ypres and is rather angry when the Germans are blamed for shelling the Cloth Hall, because he tells you that there was a big French gun firmly established behind it, and only by shelling the building could the enemy hope to destroy that dangerous piece of ordnance. He saw something of the bombardment of Rheims and he watched the monitors at work on the Belgian coast.