There shall the Vandal sages come and go, And learn at last why Belgium felt chagrin, And pace the Prussian goose-step very slow, From class to class, with lots of halts between. They shall attain in time, but not as yet, To starrier heights that now the negroes win; Meanwhile your common goal is clearly set To wake the untouched blindness of Berlin. EVOE. * * * * * ANOTHER IMPENDING APOLOGY. "Lieutenant Asquith's first thought is for the comfort and feeding of his mary ..."--_Daily Record._ * * * * * From an ante-War advertisement:-- "HOLIDAY COURSES IN GERMAN, KAISERSLAUTEN, RHENISH PALATINATE. Lectures under the auspices of the International Peace Association.--Aug. 3 to Aug. 29." This course of pacific lectures has had to be postponed, but it is hoped that it may be given by the end of next summer under the auspices of the Allies in Berlin. * * * * * Illustration: A PLAIN DUTY. BRITANNIA (_to Holland_). "MY RESOURCES AND MY OBLIGATIONS ARE GREATER THAN YOURS; LET THIS SERVICE FALL UPON ME." [The number of Belgian refugees in Holland is probably ten times as great as the number in England.] * * * * * Illustration: "WELL, WILLIAM, HEARD ANYTHING OF YOUR SON?" "NO, MISS; BUT THEY'LL SEND 'E TO THE FRONT RIGHT AWAY. 'E BE JUST THE MAN THEY BE WANTIN' THERE." "I'M SURE HE IS. BUT WHY DO YOU THINK HE WILL GO STRAIGHT TO THE FRONT?" "WHY, YOU SEE, MISS, 'E'LL BE ABLE TO SHOW 'EM THE WAY ABOUT. 'E WAS AT THE BOER WAR, AN' KNOWS ALL THEM FURRIN' PARTS." * * * * * THE REAL REASON. Mr. Arthur Grayson, recently returned from Bad Nauheim, brings an interview with His Excellency Herr VON BODE, which he obtained under curious circumstances. It seems that the famous Director of the Kaiser Friedrich Museum in Berlin, and for long the ultimate arbiter of taste in Germany, wishing to send a message to the American people, wrote to an American journalist, also, as it chanced, named Grayson, and also a resident in the other Grayson's hotel, making an appointment. But the American Grayson had then gone, and the English Grayson having opened his letter by mistake, and being not unwilling to see Berlin for himself during war-time, carried the missive to the capital, met the illustrious virtuoso and received the confidences intended for the instruction of New York and Washington, correcting their preposterous view of the German origin of the war.