The suitability of parrots for use in warfare is obvious. Their especial duty would be to give misleading words of command at points of critical importance during a battle. A stealthy night attack might be converted into a hasty "strategic retirement" by an observant parrot ingratiating itself among the enemy's ranks and raising the cry, "Up, Guards, and at 'em!" It is perhaps late in the season to utilise the services of trained wasps to any extent, but the possibilities of other insect auxiliaries should not be overlooked. * * * * * The Prime Minister of New Zealand as reported in _The Timaru Herald_:-- "Just one word more. With regard to Canada's offer that is reported in this evening's paper, my opinion of it may be summed up in three words: Dibra, Jukova and Ipek." This is one of the things we could have summed up more lucidly ourselves, though perhaps not so concisely. * * * * * "Will the Soldiers who saw Lady Thrown off Tramcar on Saturday evening, about 8 o'clock, please communicate." _Advt. in "Northampton Daily Chronicle."_ Another lovers' tiff in the gloaming? * * * * * Illustration: THE ROAD TO RUSSIA. * * * * * Illustration: _Cyclist_ (_taking initiative on being caught without a light_). "DOUSE YOUR GLIM, MATE; WE'LL BE HAVING THEM ZEPPELINS ALL OVER US." * * * * * BURGOMASTER MAX. Belgian soldiers, martial heroes, in a world of fire and flame, By their fortitude and daring have achieved immortal fame, But there's one, a mere civilian, who a _vates sacer_ lacks-- Burgomaster MAX! Therefore let a sorry rhymer offer you his humble meed, And salute your priceless service to your country in her need, All unarmed yet undefeated, never turning in your tracks-- Burgomaster MAX! _Athanasius contra mundum_--you remind us of the tag, You whose fearless manifestoes never brooked the German gag; Bucking up your fellow-townsmen when their hearts were weak as wax-- Burgomaster MAX! Now, alas! we read the foemen have decided to deport And intern you for a season in some dismal German fort, For your presence was distasteful to the Hun who sacks and "hacks"-- Burgomaster MAX! Yet, whatever fate befalls you, as the ages onward roll You will live in deathless lustre on your country's Golden Roll, For you faced the German bullies with the stiffest of stiff backs-- Burgomaster MAX! * * * * * There are German financiers who now allude to him as "Dishonoured BILL." * * * * * A SEA CHANGE. Ponto in town is strictly _comme il faut_, A member of the most exclusive set (His pedigree and dwelling all may know Who read page 90 in the "Dogs' Debrett").