"Take my word for it, gents! Young, wealthy, not undistinguished in the matter of learnin', well-bred, nurchured in the lap of luxury, tolerably good-lookin', if not actually 'andsome, my way was easy, gents. It was child's play for me to get at the inside of things, to get under the surface, to see what was agitatin' the boorses of 'alf the Continent, to understand why big financiers was orderin'-in 'ams by the 'alf-'undred, religious scruples not-withstandin'. Why, if I was to sit down an' put pen to piper I could sell my memo'rs of them days for a fabulous sum--if the biggest publishers in the land was not too bloomin' chicken-'earted to publish anythink so 'ot, gentlemen! "Your ears would wag, my friends, if I told you one 'alf of the spells what some of them Continental society sirens wielded, an' but for my mastery over their 'earts what might we not have igsperienced years agow? An' this, gentlemen, at the biddin' or the innuendoes of vile bein's not fit to 'arthstone the door-step of the po'rest workin'-man what plods 'is 'eart-broken way acrost this Pawk to-night! "You 'ave no idear, I assure you, gents, what might not 'ave 'appened, what cruel, what damn ..." B2471, who had gradually edged toward the stool on which he stood, stepped up to him and spoke softly. "That's bloomin' well _torn_ it, matey," said B2471. "You've 'ad a good time all to your little self, but we 'ave to dror the line. You'll 'ave to _'op_ it, old sport!" And, just, as we were getting into his confidence, he of the vest-slip 'opped it, and we were left behind, without further clues to _Shurshy-lar-fam_. The woman still remains a mystery. * * * * * CUTTING DOWN. "Everybody's doing it," I said, "so as to have more for the Funds. Also for other reasons. The only question is what?" "Well," said Ursula, "let's make a beginning." She produced a silver pencil and some celluloid tablets that are supposed to look like ivory. "What first?" she asked, frowning. I reflected. "Clearly the superfluities ought to go first. What about my sacrificing sugar-cakes for afternoon tea? And burnt almonds?" "M' yes," said Ursula. "I was thinking myself about giving up cigars." "Heroine! But let us be temperate even in denial." "As a matter of fact," she said, "I'm getting to detest almonds." "And I simply loathe--I mean, I'm sure pipes are ever so much better for one than cigars." "Good!" observed Ursula. "Cigars and almonds go out. Only if you have your pipe there ought to be some cheap and filling substitute for my almonds." "Turkish delight," I suggested, "supposing it turns out all right about the _Goeben_." "And, if not, I could get along with Russian toffee. That settles tea. How about other meals?" "We're at the end of that Hock." "I'm glad of it," said Ursula. "Nasty German rubbish. I wonder it didn't contaminate the cellar. Now we must drink something patriotic instead." "What about good old English water?"