"If only we had a decent government, instead of this set of weaklings, I should feel more secure. But with this Cabinet--some of them pro-Germans at heart, if the truth were known--what can you expect? Still, one must not drag party politics in now. We must be solid for the country, and if anyone raises his voice against the Liberals in my presence he gets it hot, I can tell you. None the less a good rousing attack by BONAR LAW on the Government, root and branch, every few days would be a grand thing. As I always say, the duty of the Opposition is to oppose." And these are not all. * * * * * REVERSES. (_From the Front._) Just a line to let you know, Jim, howall goes. Well, in spite of Bosches, rain and mud and muck, I've had nothing to complain of as I knows Till last week, when comes a run of rotten luck. First, a Black Maria busts aside o' me, And I lost, well, I should say a hundred fags! Then I goes and drops a fine mouth-organ--see? And it sinks in one of these here slimy quags. Then I chucks my kit down when we charged next day (You've no use for eighty pounds odd when you sprints), And while we was at it, what d' yer think, mate, eh? Why, some blighter pinched my tin o' peppermints! Crool luck, warn't it? But I'm pretty bobbish still-- Here's the Surgeon come, a very decent bloke; I'm in horspital, I should 'a' said--not ill, Just my right leg crocked and four or five ribs broke. * * * * * First Lessons in Seamanship. Extract from the CHURCHILL interview:-- "Pacing his room thoughtfully, Mr. Churchill paused before a globe which he twirled round in his fingers like the rudder of a ship." * * * * * This is "What 'Roger' Hears" in _The Northampton Daily Chronicle_:-- "That a burglar entered 34, Birchfield road, Northampton, last evening, and decamped with several articles of jewellery while the residents, Mr. and Mrs. Mace, were out for an hour and a half. That the Belgian guests who are being so generously entertained by the Mount Pleasant friends were present, and rendered musical items." On police whistles, we hope. * * * * * [Illustration: _Small boy._ "WHAT'S ON THE POSTER, MOTHER?" _Mother._ "ONLY 'MORE GAINS AND LOSSES,' BUT WHETHER ON OUR SIDE OR THE OTHER IT DOESN'T SAY."] * * * * * BROKEN MELODIES. "Aren't music publishers maddening?" said Clarice. "Here's a tune that promises awfully well, and breaks off suddenly." I went over to the piano. On the music-rest was a sheet of music, back to front, showing the opening bars of several songs the publishers wished to commend to our notice; appetisers, as it were. Clarice played the opening bars, the only ones which were given. "Please continue," I said; "I'm beginning to like it already."