_1st Guest._ Oh no, please. I'm sure you never sit there. I hate to take away your own place. _2nd Guest._ Do let me. _Host._ I insist. _1st Guest._ Please don't say any more about it. See, I'm in now and quite comfy. _Host._ It's very wrong of you to be there. _2nd Guest._ Do let me. _Host._ Can't I persuade you to change? _1st Guest._ No. _2nd Guest._ Do let me. _Host._ Well, it's very wrong. I know that. _1st Guest_. Please let us get on now. I never was more comfy in my life. _Host._ You're sure? _2nd Guest._ Do let me. _Host._ But it's most unsatisfactory. _1st Guest._ Not at all. _Host._ Then you're sure you're all right? _1st Guest._ Absolutely. I love it here. _Host._ Very well then. (_Sighs._) _2nd Guest._ Do let me. _1st Guest._ No, we're all fixed now. _Host._ All right. (_To chauffeur_) Let her go! (_To 1st Guest_) It's a great shame, though. _1st Guest._ I love it. _2nd Guest._ I do wish you had let me. And that is what happens whenever three polite people are about to ride in a motor-car. * * * * * Shares. "A purse, containing sum of money; owner can have some."--_Advt. in "Portsmouth Evening News._" And the finder may keep the rest for his trouble. * * * * * _The Daily Chronicle_ (Kingston, Jamaica) says of the new Military Decoration:-- "It is of silver, and bears the imperial crown on each arm and in the centre the letters 'G.R.I.' (George, ex-Imperator)." At least that's WILLIAM'S interpretation of it. * * * * * AT THE PLAY. "A BUSY DAY." I have always wanted to be a grocer. To spend the morning arranging the currants in the window; to spend the afternoon recommending (with a parent's partiality) such jolly things as bottled gooseberries and bloater paste; to spend the evening examining the till and wondering if you have got off the bad half-crown yet--that is a life. Many grocers, I believe, do not realise it, and envy (foolishly enough) the dramatic critic, knowing little of the troubles hidden behind his apparently spotless shirt-front; but even they will admit that to be a grocer for an hour would be fun. [Illustration: CLEAN BRITISH HUMOUR. (_As the saying is._) MR. HAWTREY AND MISS COMPTON EXCHANGE BADINAGE OVER A BAR OF SOAP.]