Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 148, February 3, 1915 — John Shaqi
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 148, February 3, 1915Various
History
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 148, February 3, 1915
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
I am working in the Banana (to circumvent the Censor I am giving it an
obviously fictitious name) Divisional Area Headquarters Staff Office,
which is situated in the town of ----. Suppose we call it Mango. There
are four brigades in the Banana Divisional Area, one of which is the
Mango Brigade. Now it so happens that the General Officer Commanding
the Banana Divisional Area is at present also the General Officer
Commanding the Mango Brigade; consequently this is the sort of thing
which is always happening. The G.O.C. of the Mango Brigade writes to
himself as G.O.C. of the Banana Divisional Area: "May I request the
favour of a reply to my Memorandum No. 25731/24/Mobn., dated the 3rd
January, 1915, relating to paragraph 5 of Army Department letter No.
S.M.--43822/19 (A.B.C.), dated the 12th December, 1914, which amplifies
the Annexure to Clause 271, Section 18 (c), of A.R.I., Vol. XXIII.?"
Next morning he goes into the Divisional Office and finds himself
confronted by this letter. A mere civilian might be tempted to take a
mean advantage of his unusual situation. Not so the British Officer.
The dignified traditions of the Indian Army must not lightly be set
aside. The G.O.C. of the Brigade and the G.O.C. of the Divisional Area
must be as strangers for the purposes of official correspondence.
So he writes back to himself:--"Your reference to Army Department
letter No. S.M.--43822/19 (A.B.C.), dated the 12th December, 1914,
is not understood. May I presume that you allude to Army Department
letter No. P.T. 58401/364 (P.O.P.), dated the 5th November, 1914, which
deals with the Annexure to Clause 271, Section 18 (c), of A.R.I., Vol.
XXIII.?"
Later on he goes to the Brigade Office and writes--"... I would
respectfully point out that Army Department letter No. S.M.--43822/19
(A.B.C.), dated the 12th December, 1914, cancels Army Department letter
No. P.T. 58401/364 (P.O.P.), dated the 5th November, 1914."
At his next visit to the Divisional Office he writes back again:--"...
Army Department letter No. S.M.--43822/19 (A.B.C.), dated the 12th
December, 1914, does not appear to have been received in this office.
Will you be so good as to favour me with a copy?"
So it goes on, and our dual G.O.C., like the gallant soldier he is,
never flinches from his duty, never swerves by a hair's-breadth from
his difficult course. This surely is the spirit which has made the
Empire.
But I expect you are weary of this subject. Still, you must please not
forget that we are officially on active service, and active service
means perhaps more than you people at home imagine. Last Sunday, after
tiffin, I came upon one of my colleagues lounging in an easy-chair, one
of those with practical extensions upon which you can stretch your legs
luxuriously. With a cigarette between his lips and an iced drink beside
him, he sat reading a magazine--a striking illustration of the fine
resourcefulness of the Territorials in adapting themselves to novel
conditions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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