A lamp, burning with unusual and illegal garishness, gives me light enough to examine my watch. It indicates the proximity of midnight. I realize that I am incredibly stiff and cold, and am tormented by visions of unattainable comforts. At last I am conscious of a line of dimmed lights, of a distant roar of escaping steam, of a violent quivering motion that indicates the slackening of speed. We come to a sudden halt. The voice of Elf rises triumphant. "Bill!" "Yuss?" "Two minutes arter!" "Knowed we'd do it!" And as I stumble blindly forth it is borne upon me that the last Ealing motor-bus has ended her journey with five minutes to spare. * * * * * "Egypt is placidly awaiting the event, with the absolute conviction that the Turks and Germans will get the boating of their lives in the Sinai Desert."--_Civil and Military Gazette._ They certainly won't get it on the Suez Canal. * * * * * A MODEST SUGGESTION FOR A NEW HUNNISH CANTICLE. "KAISER WANTS NEW NATIONAL HYMN." "_Westminster Gazette_" _Heading._ "He shall have it."--_Mr. Punch._ GOD of our Fathers, God of old, Who hast for us such sympathy, Cast as Thou art in German mould, Again we raise our voice to Thee: Omnipotence, we need Thy hand In air, on sea, canal and land! The English (who, Thou knowest, hide Contemptibly upon an isle) No doubt on Thee have also cried, According to their native guile; Presumption could no further go In those who plunged the world in woe. Thou wouldst not hearken to a race Possessed of that inhuman Fleet, So cruel, arrogant and base, So steeped in rancour and deceit. 'Twas they, remember, they alone, Who forced this Burden on Thine own! Bless, rather, us! our arms! our cause! Pour on us Thy protecting love! Sanction our fractures of Thy laws, By U,s beneath, by Zeps above! Relieve us in this dark impasse; Bless all our efforts; bless our gas! Deal gently with us should we tend-- Presuming as Thy favoured Race, All flushed to own so great a Friend-- To dereliction into grace! Deal gently with us, Lord, should we Once deviate to decency! And Him, from Whom such blessings flow, Our WILHELM, first of Sons of Light, Whose one ambition is to show Mankind the rightfulness of Might; Bless Him, and forward His device To make an Earthly Paradise! And should some other star up there (For all the stellar space is Thine) Demand Thy more immediate care, And thus divert Thee from the Rhine, Thou need'st but mention it, and He Thy Viceroy hero will gladly be! * * * * * "WANT OF FOOD. Salonika.