Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, January 5, 1916Various
General
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 150, January 5, 1916
Various
English wit and humor -- Periodicals
Jimmy wished they would get it over, for he was quite willing to undergo
any form of punishment they might decide upon, if only they would let
him know quickly. He hoped they wouldn't make the Biffer fight him, not
that he was afraid of the Biffer, but because it would be so hard to
keep himself from hitting back, and that he had decided not to do. You
see the Biffer was a new boy, and, for another thing, he wore a leather
strap round his wrist. On his very first day at school the Biffer had
volunteered the information that he once gave a boy such a biff on the
nose that he had sprained his wrist, and that ever since he had worn a
wrist strap, lest it should happen again. It was Jimmy who had
nick-named him the Biffer, and from that time the Biffer had sought
Jimmy's blood.
But Jimmy was not easy to quarrel with.
He was the acknowledged champion of Form II., and you had to commit
three offences before Jimmy would seriously consider you. At the first
offence you got a note with the one word "Beware!" written upon it; at
the second, another note with the word "Blood" written underneath a
skull and crossbones; and at the third you received a note with the word
"Deth," and underneath was the drawing of a coffin.
The Biffer had so far arrived at the second note.
Jimmy did hope they wouldn't choose the Biffer, for he could hear even
now the Biffer's yell when he had made that awful mistake which had
brought about the present deplorable situation.
Jimmy couldn't think how he had come to say what he did say; he could
have bitten off his tongue when he realised it; but it was too late--he
had said it.
He tried to think how it had all occurred, and the scene flashed again
before his mind. There was the master with his pointer resting upon the
Dogger Bank on the map of Europe.
"Who can tell me the name of this sea?" he had said, and Jimmy had
snapped his fingers and waved his arm about in his anxiety to catch the
master's eye. You see, it was so seldom, so very seldom, that Jimmy felt
he knew the right answer to any question, and the new experience was
intoxicating. The master too seemed to find it unusual, and he at once
turned to Jimmy and said, "Well, what is this sea called, then?" Jimmy,
full of the pride of knowledge, burst out with "The North Sea, Sir." Oh!
if he had only stopped at that; but in his desire to show how much he
knew he added without thinking the fatal words, "or German Ocean!"
In the shout of derision which had followed, Jimmy realised what he had
said, and felt himself falling, falling, falling....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account